Monday, April 14, 2014

Exploit? Me? Never…

Lee is on his way home!!!!! I am so excited as I have missed him very much. I have done great this trip if I do say so myself. I have not had any little anxiety issues, I really haven’t lost my cool, and I have remained positive almost the entire time Lee has been gone.
We have communicated so much more this time sometimes I was lucky enough to talk to him a few times a day, we also have emailed, well I have to email my spreadsheet every day. I haven’t succeeded on all of my rules but for most of them I have done very well. Just one keeps giving me a lil (or a lot depending how you look at it) trouble.
He sent me a very long email telling me a little about his day and then most of it was about us. I love long emails well most times I do. He spoke about how he thinks we are moving in the right direction, how so many things have improved in our relationship, how communication & intimacy have greatly improved. Letting me know what he is getting out of this lifestyle and some more things he wants. How he feels much more respected, appreciated, trusted, and loved. He is correct I do feel all of those ten fold.
He let me know things were going to be a little different when he returns… Is this good or bad?? He said he knew there were things he needed to work on also, not just me. Love it when he says he needs to work on something. He said,  I have to strike a happy balance for me when you are being sassy and cute trying to negotiate your way out of the consequence. I struggle with this as you know, as I like the know it and EXPLOIT it!” I don’t think I exploit anything I am just sweet like that, I can’t really help it if he is just in awe of me! Well maybe awe isn’t the correct word LOL.
His email had much to say about things that were going to have to change, some were about me and the way I need to obey the rules he has set to help me accomplish goals we have made. I need to make more of an effort to do so. I know he is correct about this. It is just extra difficult when he is so far away for so long. He also spoke on things for himself he was planning on working on, (taking me on more vacations maybe?) No it was mostly on holding me more accountable, not letting me wiggle my way out of some things. Well I am all for consistency really I am it is very important, but now lets not take leaps. Baby steps I like baby steps.
Bottom line for me, he thinks about us/me, our relationship, how much we have changed, what needs to change. Things to help us/me improve, how our relationship has improved. I am lucky, he is lucky, we are lucky. I am so happy he will be home soon!!!

Thursday, April 3, 2014


I am just sitting here wondering… what am I? what are we? I don’t know at the moment. I have been thinking about this and actually talking to one of my friends about it. Are we DD? Are we D/s? Are we both?
After speaking to my friend she made the conclusion maybe we are a “hybrid” I of course laughed out loud. Maybe we are. There are things about both dynamics I like well there are also some I don’t like.
I like that in DD he holds me accountable, I have a few rules that we have discussed. If I break them I am in trouble (most of the time). Then I think about other things like when he is much more dominate about certain things but in a good way.  I like both of these and am not sure sometimes what we are. I do get a say, he almost always asks my opinion on things, and on almost all we agree.  I also like when I am not given a choice but told yes I know “told” what to do or what he expects.
I guess it doesn’t really matter how you classify it or maybe it does and I just don’t care what the classification is. It is working, it is working for us.