tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42613312767644296072024-03-19T18:11:00.856-04:00Handful of HoneyKinda Sorta Somewhat NEWhoneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-19973108005601893742018-10-08T00:08:00.001-04:002018-10-08T00:08:51.693-04:00This can Suck at times!!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This has
been some crazy Year!!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We have
had much happen since the last time I posted. It has been a very very long
time. We have had to deal with things that all people have to deal with, there
has just been so much of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One of
our very good friends the husband, by a crazy fluke accident found out he has
Multiple Myeloma, his wife of course is beside herself as we all are. This man
is one of the fittest men I have ever known in my life. He didn’t even know he
was ill until they told him, once they told him, he was in critical condition,
he now a year later is in remission thank God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another
good friend who is really like family lost their nephew to leukemia. He has
fought this battle for three years, and leaves a beautiful wife & very
young son. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My good
friend lost her husband suddenly with no warning, he leaves behind two sons and
a devastated wife. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There has
been so much loss & sadness. Those were just a few. Some are just to hard to even speak of. There have also been
some Good times during all of this, actually Wonderful times have happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our
Princess worked her tail off & is now a College Graduate she actually
starts her first “Big Girl” job tomorrow. We could not be prouder. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our Angel
received a beautiful surprise Proposal & she said Yes! We couldn’t be
happier. Wedding plans are going well. No Bridezilla yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lee began
a new job, after leaving his job of 15+ years. So MUCH has been going on. I
wonder how in the world do people stay focused?? Maybe it is just me, him, us.
It just seems we can get through something and then a week or a month later
everything seems to be just a mess, or maybe I am the only mess. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know I
have an Amazing husband, I also know he is not Perfect nor am I. I just wish at
times we could stay on the same road for more than a little while. I must be
asking for toooo much, I am the one that brought DD to us. I did not bring the
Ds but he did and damnit if I didn’t LOVE it, who knew?? LOL<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I
am really not LOL, I feel sometimes like I am in a storm and just not a rain
storm, I am thinking a CAT 5 hurricane. I am choosing to try my best to focus
more on “other” things to keep my mind off what I feel I am missing. We talk,
he is attentive, he is not some horrible negligent husband, maybe I am just wanting
to much. I probably am, I just need to realize that & get over it. It just
seems hard to do for me, I guess once you get a taste of what could be Great,
you don’t want to be without it. UGH We are busy, we have had much to deal with
the past year heck we have had much to deal with the past week. I just need to
realize, this too will pass and we will be stronger for it. I just am not
feeling very strong this evening. Okay rant and pity party over; tonight
anyway, I am getting sleepy. I need to sleep.</span>honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-58874884595585058232018-03-09T23:07:00.002-05:002018-03-09T23:07:52.256-05:00Everybody Plays the Fool! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAuAi1rmk5UDamn I love this Man! He seems to LOVE me to the core! I am his BiGGEST Cheerleader! Some days are not as easy as others!!!!honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-58488887101437192922017-02-04T19:10:00.000-05:002017-02-04T19:10:13.704-05:00ON & OFF<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I made
the comment we still have our days of “Off & On”. The response from someone
just beginning DD was how discouraging that was to hear and they </span><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode";">would hope, at least ideally, that at some point it becomes who you are as a couple. I immediately
let the person know it is just how we are, that some couples (I know maybe a
handful) are always “On” in their dynamic and it is the way they are all of the
time. We are just not like that.</span><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I guess what I was
trying to say is I as well as Lee can let things go or slide or not even really
think much about it. There have been many times the last many months where something
has “distracted” us from our lifestyle. Death has happened a couple of times,
and ATM we are dealing with a health situation of someone that is of the utmost
importance to us. Basically, for us that means, if I don’t keep my end of the
bargain with the goals/rules we have agreed on; he doesn’t necessarily follow
through on his end or mine for that matter lol; nothing happens. It doesn’t
mean he doesn’t notice, it doesn’t mean I do not care. I believe it means there
are much more important things going on that need our attention. He might mention, I have noticed ________
& _________. I understand you or we are both under a lot of stress right
now, etc. He has let many things go that have to do with goals/rules.</span><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I understand why and I
understand that he can also be worried & stressed like I am. I do think
being an HOH is a “tough” position to be in. I certainly wouldn’t want the
position. (well maybe I do a few times a year) lol. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I do know for us, our
goals/rules are not about me getting tasks completed. They are not about
respect, that is a given in our relationship, we treat one another with
respect. I when stressed at times can come across as a bit “short” with my
words, or snarky. It is something I really try not to ever direct at him but it
has happened.</span><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">He gets me, I get him.
We understand one another & how we are both feeling. Some of the time, we
need to both forget the goals/rules for a bit because there is something much
more pressing that needs our attention. We do not usually talk about this, it
usually just happens on its own. We do not usually say “Hey, the goals/rules
are off the table right now”. It does not mean that we pay less attention to
one another & the needs we both have. It doesn’t mean the silent treatment,
it doesn’t mean ignore. It does mean we are there for one another whether
talking at length about the situation, or holding one another. It means I share
my fears, he shares his (he also has them, he also worries at times). He is an HOH, he is not Super Human. I am sure he needs my support & love just as much as I need his. It means
that whatever the “important” issue is at the time has our focus and we both
will do what ever needs to be done to help the situation, or give it our best
shot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">The
health issue we are dealing with is not over. There is not much we can really
do until the next doctors appointment. I did send Lee an email it was a short
one, not mean, not ugly, just short. Basically, saying Hey I know we are both dealing
with this the best we can together. I am feeling way “off” and I realize we
have been for a while. How do you feel? Of course his response is on the phone,
the man never can simply email me back! He states he was planning on bringing
this up tonight. I am thinking…. Really???? If so why I am I the one that
brought it to your attention first? He says I did nothing to bring it to his
attention. He was already planning on speaking about this tonight. Who knows?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Us being
OFF doesn’t mean we don’t have one another, it doesn’t mean He is not HOH, it doesn’t
mean I am all of a sudden the one in charge. It means basically he isn’t
sp***ing my a$$ for not following through on our goals/rules. It means there is
something going on that is very important & can be worrisome, and well
scary that is more important than if I am eating right or drinking enough
water. I believe for my or OUR relationship the support & love we give one another
is much more important than goals/rules in our dynamic, the love is the core of
our relationship. The dynamic is the icing on the cake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;">So yes
Our DD can some of the time have the Off & On times. I am okay with that,
well until I am not LOL. (then I send a short lil email).</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-62718760380722838862016-08-30T20:24:00.003-04:002016-08-30T20:24:37.178-04:00Real or Fake??<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Why is it I am so suspicious? I know I have met people
before that have been not at all who they claimed to be. I have never
understood why someone would pretend to be someone or something they are not.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I am mostly talking about when “chatting” with someone. I
understand chatting and getting to know others through chat. I have been
fortunate to meet other couples. What I do not understand is why would someone
pretend? I just am baffled why someone would not be true to themselves. I mean
if you want to pretend to be in a DD or D/s relationship that seems rather
pathetic to me. Why not be who you truly are or be honest especially when
chatting with others? What do you gain from it? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Most people I chat with could care less if someone is in a
relationship that is the same as theirs, every relationship is different
anyway. We all do things different, as
we should. We know what works for our relationship, others do not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">It seems to me lately, some of the folks just come in to
hear a sp****** story, or to say something for Shock Value. Some come in under
many different names. Why? What is it that they are looking for? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">When I first came to chat the people that were in there were
so helpful to me. I was not in a DD or D/s relationship when I first came in. I
asked so many questions, and everyone was so helpful. I am sure I drove some
crazy with all of the questions I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I am no expert at DD or D/s I do not pretend to be. Even
after three years Off & On I still ask questions. Asking someone’s opinion
on something doesn’t mean Lee or I have to take their advice, but I do think it
can make interesting and sometimes helpful conversation. In the process of us
or anyone asking a question it can lead to something someone else could be
thinking about or having difficulty with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I have recently read a few blogs I had never read before. I
used to read blogs all of the time. I certainly miss some of the ones that are
no longer out there. When reading these blogs I might agree or disagree with
what the author says. When I say disagree I mean for our relationship Not
theirs. I am surprised by some of the Blogs that seem to be a Do it this way,
or You Must do this…. I am shocked when it doesn’t start off with “This worked
for us” or “We tried this it really helped or was a Huge Fail”. When someone
has the audacity to tell you exactly what you should be doing, that is a big
RED flag for me. There is not a one size fits all DD or D/s Manual! You should
not follow what someone writes because it could lead you astray from the
dynamic that works best for you in your relationship. Just remember what fits their dynamic does not necessarily fit yours or mine. Helpful hints, people
talking or blogging about their own experiences and the results whether
beneficial or not I love. The ones that appear to think they are experts I will
stay clear of. I am actually suspicious of them. LOL <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;">Authenticity (not my word) is so important to me it seems to
be quite rare these days. Such a shame. Just remember you know your own dynamic
and what is best for your relationship. Ok my little rant is over. Can you tell
I really need a Vacation!!!!! LOL</span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-37270612843343757822016-06-26T13:44:00.000-04:002016-06-26T13:44:43.131-04:00Appreciating the Differences<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Have
you ever noticed some Blogs you seem to relate to more than others? I have not
read blogs for quite a while. I mean I have a few that I do read, but I used to
read so very many of them. There were of course some that I enjoyed much more
than others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I
think at the start of DD I read Blogs because I enjoyed reading about other DD
relationships and I could relate to many of the authors. Most of the blogs I
read no longer exist, I am wondering if it is because they no longer needed
them, or maybe they were worried about their anonymity. Maybe they just started
living their DD or D/s life and needed not to talk about it because it became
truly exactly what they needed/wanted. I do miss some of those Blogs. I
appreciated all of the Blogs I read when we were starting out they did help me
understand that I was Not totally Crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">There
are Blogs that have changed over time as they changed in their dynamic, the
Blogs took a turn as they should, growth in the relationship would reflect that
in the writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">My
Blog really has been more of a diary for me, to look back at where we came
from, or to see how far we have or have not grown. I rarely write on my Blog. It
is not that I really don’t have the time I write in my personal diary more
often though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I
have found some Blogs to have almost a fictitious feel to them, for me anyway.
Almost like a story possibly a fantasy. In my experience with being you know
kinda, sorta, somewhat NEW the fairy tale stories are Fun to read and I enjoy
them some of the time. I actually prefer my books to be more fantasy and blogs
I enjoy are the ones that show the good times as well as the bad times. I find
those to be more of what I relate to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">The
friends I speak with all go through many many tough times, in this dynamic. I
find when talking many of us have the same issues I am not sure that is the
correct word, but I find that we have many of the same or similar thoughts, the
same worries, the same frustrations. I also find we have the same or similar
joyful feeling when things are going Great. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">For
me it is important to realize this dynamic isn’t all me (future post) nor is it all about Lee being tuned in
to me, my ever single thought, need, or always being in HOH/Dom mode. It isn’t Sp******’s
and some Hot Knight in Shining Armor grabbing me up and throwing me on the bed
sp****** my a$$ and then making mad passionate love. That sounded all great but
in reality my reality that can happen but it is so much more than that. There
are many tough times, there are many times when I feel unsure, when I feel
almost lost inside my head with thoughts, questions and concerns. That to me is
my normal it is not always a BED of ROSES, paddles, implements, toys, rope,
restraints, or feeling that Uh Oh feeling in the pit of my stomach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I
know for me the Blogs that I can relate to are usually ones that show things
are not always Perfect. Since beginning this lifestyle I have cried more in the
last three years than I did in our entire marriage. I have been frustrated, I
have been mad, I have also had the Best three years in my life. That makes no
sense at all, but it is true. I just know for me to read especially when first researching and beginning DD, I had some wonderful Blogs that really helped me to understand
different aspects, perspectives, and how every single relationship is different
and based on what each relationship needs/wants. I wish some of the "newer" people had those to read.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">We
all have our own preferences in reading Blogs, whether they are the Adventurous, the Boastful, the Confused, the Demanding, the Expert, the Fantasy, the Friend, the
Funny, the Grateful, the Helpful, the Informative, the Judgmental, the Kinky, the Long winded, the Masochist, the Needy, the Obedient, the Passionate, the Player, the Quick Witted, the Rebel, the Seductive, the Sexual, the Sp******, the Thoughtful, the Unique, the Vulnerable, the Wicked, the Yielding, the Zestful and so many more. We
each have our own favorites I think maybe that depends on where you are at that
moment in your relationship, I guess it is ever changing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-16212698098930843412016-06-25T16:59:00.000-04:002016-06-25T16:59:23.215-04:00FRAUD! <div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I feel a bit different today in
writing this. For those of you that are just beginning never think this
lifestyle is a bed of ROSES! It is not. BTW I am not fond of roses. Lol<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">The envelopes that Lee left me really
truly helped me to feel closer while he was away.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">There was a PROBLEM though he was not
nearly as engaged as I was. We all have our moments to be disengaged for one
reason or another. His was pretty well… Shocking.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I have always felt loved, cherished,
and adored, not so much right now. I do know the man is as human as I am, with
that we all make mistakes we all F*** up! Some much worse than others.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">All I am saying is Do not ever put
anyone on a Pedestal ever, you might just be shocked at how they should not be
on that pedestal at all. You in your mind put them there, they did not ask to
be put there.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB", sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I do love my DD people so much!!!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-34557466980490398982016-05-01T17:48:00.000-04:002016-05-01T17:48:05.272-04:00And The Envelope Please…<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">It has been quite a
long time since I have written on my blog. I am thinking that is a “Good”
thing. Maybe it just means things are just going along quite nicely. WRONG!
Lol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Actually things have been quite well, we have managed for
the most part to stay on course well lately we have. We like most everyone else
I speak with have our ups & downs, on & offs. We deal with those “real
life” situations like everyone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Lee is traveling for work and has been away 20 days, only
one more to go! This trip seems to have went by quicker than the previous ones.
I think mostly because I have been a bit busier, and on the weekends I have had
something to do for two out of the three. I have my DD friends who have been
great about checking in with me, sending me funny messages, texts and phone
calls, you guys have no idea how much easier you make it when he is away so
long. You are the most amazing Support Group! Thank you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">This time in his travels away, I felt Lee was a bit more
engaged while he was away. Before he left, he had I guess I would call it a
list of things he wanted me to do or work on while he was away. These were not
all tasks some were FUN things he wanted me to do while he was away. We
discussed them, well he discussed, I listened. He knows me, I get Bored very
easily, and then when I get bored it is not always a Good thing. I can let my
mind wander and go to places it really has no place going. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">One of the things Lee did different on this trip was he left
me seven sealed envelopes. He instructed me to not open any of them until the
week before he arrived home. I have to say I have Surprised myself as I have
only opened one of them before I should have!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I had no idea what was inside the envelopes, I just know it
is a request/order of something he wants me to do. I really kinda find it
exciting! I also feel how damn thoughtful. I know it is something so simple,
but it just meant to me… he is really trying to let me feel his presence while
8000 miles away.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.plutopackaging.co.uk/ekmps/shops/plutopackaging/images/orange-gummed-greetings-card-envelopes-3154-p.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.plutopackaging.co.uk/ekmps/shops/plutopackaging/images/orange-gummed-greetings-card-envelopes-3154-p.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I opened Envelope #1- (they are in no particular order he
said, but they are numbered???) I did open this one actually the night before I
should have. Talk about disappointment, the request/order was to make sure
there were clean sheets on the bed when he arrived home. REALLY??? I mean I
have always done that, always! OK well maybe that is kinda Payback for opening
the envelope earlier than I should have. KARMA<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #2-WOW this one is a bit different! There were
explicit instructions, on me planning a meal for his arrival, what I am to be
wearing, how my hair is to be styled, and the candles are to be lit. (I wonder
does planning mean cooking? I am sure it doesn’t otherwise he would have said
cook a meal) lol!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #3-This request/order was again kinda like envelope
#1 something I would do anyway, it is a bit of pampering myself, that is always
nice, nothing like a good mani/pedi and well one other thing that I chose to do
on my own at the start of this but it seems like it is something he likes very
much now. It isn’t the same relaxing feeling as a mani/pedi but the results are
sooo worth it IMO, must be his opinion also. He then goes on to tell me a few
things that will happen the night he arrives home! (He will be exhausted, I
know this man)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #4-UGH! I am not sure I will be able to complete
this one before he arrives home. Send him an email about what my wildest dreams
or an experience I think about. He wants Details! That can be kinda sexy and at
the same time a lil unnerving for me anyway, heck maybe for him also. If he
only knew, Lol<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #5-Surprised! I am really surprised about this one,
it is a bit much to talk about, it has to do with well “FUN” stuff but
something I have not done before without him. He even gives a specific time to
do this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #6-Shocked! No way can I do this at work! I don’t
even have enough experience with this to feel comfortable with it. I think we
have used this once maybe twice and that didn’t really work out very well. I
must talk to him about this, I just can’t. It sounds like it could be FUN but
more Fun at home and with him, I will need to talk about this with him. He
agreed that I can wait until he is home and he is more than Happy to assist me!
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Envelope #7-</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 16pt;">L</span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Wear my hair up at work all day!!! UGH, I know he loves my
hair up, I do not like my hair up, but being kinda sorta somewhat an almost
Perfect tih I certainly will honor his request/order. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Basically the way this envelope thing as simple as it is.
The result made me really feel him near me, making his requests/orders. I
believe it made me know how much thought he put into this. I know these are
simple or things that most people would find silly or not necessary, but for me
it meant he took the time to think this out, made the effort, and try really
hard to keep us connected when so far apart from one another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I realized that even with the simplest basic requests/orders
he by doing this made me feel “special”. Now don’t get me wrong he has always
made me feel pretty special, loved, & cherished. Maybe the word would be
engaged, it can be very difficult for me to feel his presence when we are away
from one another for so long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;"> Now it has me
thinking… What can I do for him to let him know how special he is to me, how I
love, appreciate & cherish him. I believe it is just as important to let
your HOH know what they mean to you. They shouldn’t just be “doing” for you,
that seems quite selfish and rather unfulfilling for the HOH IMO. It Makes me
want to step up a bit more, and let him have these same wonderful feelings I
do. It really meant more to me than I realized. Thank You Lee! </span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-51364215266264049402016-01-23T20:33:00.000-05:002016-01-23T20:33:16.037-05:00Chameleon<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It has been quite a long time since I wrote on my blog or my
personal diary. I guess there just hasn’t been a whole helluvalot to say. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We had a wonderful holiday spent with family & friends, we
went to Biloxi to do a bit of relaxing, I had a great time playing & won a
lil bit of money. We both did actually!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have started a new job recently, it has had its ups &
downs. I well I guess we have been quite busy the past few months. Lee had
traveled back in October, a few of my sweet DD friends came for one weekend, it
was great to see them and just laze around talking up a storm. I did receive a
pretty remarkable email from Lee that weekend. I even shared it with my girlfriends;
it was like what I truly needed to hear from him as “our” DD had kinda taken a
backseat for quite awhile. He returned home and well sometime later he
mentioned the email. I am not sure if I have grown or maybe just kinda realized
“it is what it is”. Before… I would have bratted or brought it to his attention
that I was feeling as if DD wasn’t a part of us anymore. I had just become
accepting of the fact. When he did bring it up, basically saying “I really feel
we need to get back on track<i>”. I in my
head am thinking I really hope you mean it, but if you don’t I am okay just the
same</i>. We have had the same conversation over & over & over again
nothing really new in that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It seems like it starts and stops constantly, I have said my
peace and very respectfully and without any hard feelings. As difficult as it
is to admit those “On & Off” times are just getting to be just a bit much
for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It also baffles me how after quite a bit of time without DD
really seeming to be in our life or very little of it, he can say all the right
things, know & admit his short comings and give some of the best advice I
have heard to others. I respect the fact that he will openly admit our “truths”
I have always thought of him as a man of honor. His honesty plays a big part of
that. I do admire the fact that he is not one to “pretend” he doesn’t pretend
to be a great HOH/Dom he admits he does the best he can and sometimes fails. I
know him to be someone of great character & strength. I admire these
qualities that are all quite important to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">SO with that being said, I am accepting of the fact that I do
the best I can, he does the best he can. I know for me this lifestyle is very
important, something I want & desire, even the bad stuff. I am now
wondering though is it the same for him? I spoke with a friend of mine who
knows me quite well, I expressed my feelings and after our talk, I wondered is
he a chameleon? Is he one that changes depending on mood and/or communication?
I know some chameleons cannot change and some have limited ability to change.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.jeannemelanson.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/How-do-Chameleons-Change-Color-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.jeannemelanson.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/How-do-Chameleons-Change-Color-1.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have always thought of him to be his true self. He has never
seemed to be anyone less than honest, forthright, and of great character. I
just hope with me the one bringing DD I didn’t cause him to become maybe a bit
of a chameleon. I never thought of it like this before as heck he sp***** me
once maybe twice before we were ever even married or knew what DD even was. It
is more important to me that we both stay true to ourselves. That truth is more
important than any lifestyle I might desire. It is just well the TRUTH.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-41813724638496703802015-10-01T15:26:00.000-04:002015-10-01T15:28:27.360-04:00Ain’t No Other Man!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 5.6pt; mso-line-height-alt: 14.95pt; vertical-align: top;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="background-color: #f1c232;"> OMGosh! I have so much to say. As usual, I will be all over the
map. Lee & I went on vacation ~ the same vacation we have taken every
summer since starting DD. We stayed in a nice trailorminium for 12 days at a
gorgeous campground on the beach. It has become one of my favorite getaways
that we do each year. I think why I it like so much is, the fact it is just the
two of us, spending quality time together.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We spend most of our time laying & walking on the beach. This
time I didn’t go in the water as much, the huge sea rays kind of ruined it for
me. While we are there, we go out and eat~fresh seafood which is a must. We also
rode bikes, listened to music, met some people from different parts of the
country, and (one of my favorite things to do) go listen to live music &
dance. The best part, it is just us doing things we enjoy together. I honestly
think this getaway is something Lee does for me. He loves the beach as much as
I do, but I am sure he would like to play a lil more golf or fish. </span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">He did play golf and we did hang out with some
family & friends a couple of the days, I mean we have to watch SEC football
and who better to watch with than rival fans? LOL!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> During this trip my sister was having a Party (White Party), you
never want to miss a Party in our family. We can really throw a Party. The
night before Lee & I went out dancing needless to say I had a blast but
also a bit too much to drink. The next day I don’t think I even started moving
until noon, I certainly didn’t want to attend a Party, but I knew I had to be
there. Driving there I said, “Let’s not stay too long, she won’t miss us,
really there will be many people there. Lee just said, “We will see”.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> When we arrive, I notice there were cars all up and down the
street. I got out of the car and my sister opened her front door (I have never
walked through the front door). She had black on cute little number~ but it’s
black. I said, “You have black on!” She said, “You want to know why?” at that
point, Lee steps up takes my hand and said “I have been planning this with your
sister for a year” I can’t remember all he said, what did register was “We are
renewing our vows” as my sister handed me the most beautiful bouquet. I was
shocked stunned speechless (rarely happens) My sister then walks out the back
door. Lee kissed me and said, “I love you” took my hand and we walked out the
side door. The first thing I saw was a beautiful table with flowers and a
picture of our wedding. Next to that table was my wedding dress on a mannequin.
WOW!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Lee led me out to the backyard, the tears were just streaming
down my face and I couldn’t make them stop. There was a band playing music as
we walk as well. It was beautiful I honestly did not really see anyone standing
it was all such a blur. We walked up to a beautiful arch decorated with
flowers. There stood a pastor (do we even know a pastor anymore). It was
incredible. After we were almost done renewing our vows, the pastor asked us to
remove our wedding rings. I am a lil confused but then OMGosh Lee pulled a box
out of his pocket. I didn’t mean for it to come out so loudly but “You got me a
NEW ring???” </span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">came flying out at top
volume. YES he did and damn is it beautiful! After we kissed, I turn around to
see my family & friends.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We drank, we danced, and we have a beautiful “renewal” cake. There
were toasts, and presents as well. It was just like a real wedding and he did
this for me… for us. I know there is no way he could have done this without all
of the help of my lil sister. I am the luckiest woman in the world.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I cannot express how much this meant to me. I just can’t find
the words. All of the work, planning, the love, that went into this beautiful
ceremony. To be able to keep me in the total dark that is a feat in itself. I
am never surprised, I always figure things out, well not this time. I love this
man of mine so much. I love that he is who he is. I love that he shows me what
I mean to him. I love he is not afraid to show his Romantic side and sensitive
side. I love that he is mine and I am so grateful ~ even if he does sp*** my
a$$ every now and then. LOL!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I just want to sing that song </span><b style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">“Ain’t No Other Man”</b></span><br />
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honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-62587361883904245322015-08-27T13:04:00.000-04:002015-08-27T13:04:39.120-04:00DAY DRINKING!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I really am not sure quite how to start this
post other than to say I have noticed some changes in myself since starting DD.
The changes mostly have been good changes for our relationship, actually Great
is a better word. There is one change though that has me a little concerned. DD
& Drinking… do they go hand in hand for me anyway?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Let me back up, I <s>am</s> was a social
drinker. If we had friends over & everyone was drinking I might have a
drink or two many times not even finishing a glass of wine or whatever I
happened to have. If we go out to a bar/club it seems if I have to “pay” for it
I can and do drink much more especially if there is dancing and a band playing.
I love live music and I also love to dance. We do not or did not go out every
weekend the past many years but we do on occasion and on those occasions of
music playing and dancing your tail off until you are glistening I always drink
more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Something changed since starting DD though.
Actually I know it started when I first brought DD to Lee. I started having a
glass of wine after work during the week. I personally rarely ever drank during
the week unless we or I was out with someone for dinner and might have a glass
of wine. I never drank at home during the week after work, I don’t see anything
wrong with it, I just didn’t. Lee has always had a beer or glass of wine at
night as long as I can remember, maybe not every night but most of them. I
never have thought anything about it because well my whole family drinks as do
most of my local friends and I believe most of them have a beer or glass of wine
sometime in the evening.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Well over time I have</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">noticed~well hell I just kn</span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">ow I am drinking
too much during the week. That one glass of wine can turn into three now has
been four and well that is just a bit much I am now thinking. I know it is. I
am not drunk. I am usually home around 6:00 and go to bed between 11:00 and
midnight. That is many hours, but still to be drinking that much every night
can get expensive. Unfortunately it is not the “Red wine that is so good for
you”. It is white or limearita’s. Heck two of those used to kick my butt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Lee & I have talked recently about this. Why
do I feel the need to drink during the week now? I had a difficult time explaining
this to him, but I tried. Basically I said, I am not sure if I can live this
lifestyle without drinking. Yes I know, WHAT? Well, I feel more submissive and
I seem to let my walls down much easier when I have a glass or two in me. I can
talk more freely & open not feeling as embarrassed as I sometimes can. I </span><b style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><i>am</i></b><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> more Free and willing. I want this
lifestyle and I love some of the kinkier parts that have resulted from it too.
I just have a very difficult time explaining/opening up to him.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF4kGel34oEDJDLr0NPaw-JAiesLeBry4Won6TEDRg4YbpCLPjKH5EmNLVnInalBMABxbPgakXa66qETSdXig3_LmsVJlRGwlJbHUq8Vjz5H400hgX6SnQVFqgv8iKHPykvT9Rfle2ut62/s1600/Liquid+courage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF4kGel34oEDJDLr0NPaw-JAiesLeBry4Won6TEDRg4YbpCLPjKH5EmNLVnInalBMABxbPgakXa66qETSdXig3_LmsVJlRGwlJbHUq8Vjz5H400hgX6SnQVFqgv8iKHPykvT9Rfle2ut62/s320/Liquid+courage.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Lee is not a
hard man to talk to, these are my issues. He is very receptive and he does
listens, he actually has become very good at reading between the lines.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="line-height: 24.5333347320557px;"> </span> I have also talked to a few DD girlfriends
about this. Some do drink but rarely,
some have been in the same place I am in. One who always has a way with words
explained it to me like this. “</span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Once you can 'talk to him', 'sober'
then he will know you have a trust in him, because you feel comfortable <i>with</i> him” </span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">She went on to say</span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> “Well I
think that (sadly) booze brings down our inhibitions like nothing else; however
the real freedom and vulnerability comes when we leave that 'easy road' behind,
and actually try on our own. See the wine exposes one's true self, but...BUT
that person IS in there the key and greatest growth is to get that person out
out of WILL not WINE” </span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I just love how she says things much better than I do.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Lee and I have talked about this </span><b style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">more in depth</b><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">. I like the plan he came up with. He also let me know
Drinking & DD do not go hand in hand and won’t for us anyway. Mmmmm, I
wonder… how well this is going to work for me? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">p.s. I do love the song Day Drinking! </span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-2331409940283929982015-04-19T01:39:00.001-04:002015-04-19T01:39:21.110-04:00Repeat!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> <span style="background-color: #f1c232;"> I feel like we are at the end of a journey
tonight. I know much has to do with him being away for so long and before he
left there were many reasons we were not our “normal” selves. Sometimes I
believe you get to a point to where you think… Is this ever going to work for
more than a few months. It is on it is off and then repeat. I tonight am
finished repeating. I am not mad or upset just accepting of the fact. That is scary
in itself, for me when I just accept something even something I do not like, I
am usually not very silent about it, when I do become silent that pretty much
means well I am just done.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> I do not know what the future holds. I do not know
how this will play out. I do know this lifestyle brought us much closer
together, improved the intimacy, and the passion I felt I had not felt in a
very long time. I won’t say those things are gone they are just in a secret
hiding place that I can’t seem to find. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> It makes me wonder for those that have tried
without success to get their partner on board. Is it harder to start stop and
repeat? Maybe it is harder to never start when it is something you truly
desire, want or even need. I have always felt so bad for those that can’t seem
to make their partner understand how important this is to them. I also feel bad
for the ones that had a relationship only to have it not work out and have to
start over.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> There are so many positives about this
relationship, but I certainly believe if not done correctly there are just as
many negatives. </span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-32120359502419627642015-03-29T18:46:00.000-04:002015-03-29T18:46:17.836-04:00Squirrely<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> I am sure I will be all over the map with my
post today. It has been quite busy the last couple of months. I did have a
Birthday it was a BIG birthday 50 is the new <s>40 </s>30 Right? I certainly do
not feel my age, according to oldest child (23) “Mom, I don’t know why 50 is
bothering you, you certainly do not act 50 heck I act more mature than you”. I wasn’t
sure if that was a compliment or not. I did have a great birthday spent with my
wonderful husband and three other DD couples, we met at my very favorite
restaurant. I love these people they are my friends. I appreciate they may
drive anywhere from two to three hours just to celebrate with me. I also
appreciated all the wine I received, a girl can never have too much wine! It is
always so great to see them, I wish we lived closer so I could see them more
often. I also received a wonderful Perfect birthday present from a friend who knows me very well all beachy stuff that I will certainly use as much as I possibly can this summer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Lee will
be leaving for work again soon another one of those three week trips. I am
hoping I keep it together by keeping myself busy while he is gone. I usually do
fine during the week it is the weekends that get to me. I have friends that
before DD I spent a lot more time with, but it seems that now I would much
rather just spend time with Lee or honestly chat or phone with my DD friends. I
just seem to have more in common with them and they do make me laugh! My
neighbor friends they seem to not be as happy as my DD friends and honestly
they just complain a bit too much for me. Wonder Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> I do love going to my lil chat place probably
way too much, I used to be much more organized around my house and I just know
I spend way too much time in there. I enjoy it though, I enjoy the people,
especially the ones I have become friends with, whether we meet, talk on the
phone, or text I still enjoy chatting in the room. It is nice to meet new
people especially ones that remind me of me when we first began this lifestyle.
I have found some to be so similar in what they are looking for to help their relationship.
I have also realized some feel like their way is the only way, so WRONG! We
believe, Lee & I like most do that you make it your own and what works for
you. You might call it something totally different than someone else but really
does it matter? I have found some are not at all like I thought they were which
has been a lil disappointing to me. Seems for some this lifestyle is very
specific in how things should be done or not be done. I believe I can learn
much from others and their experiences. I might not agree that it would be best
for my relationship but I still respect the fact that it is best for theirs. I have
never done well doing things the way someone else does especially if the reason
is… that is just the way we have always done it or because others think their
way is the only way. I believe for Lee & I we do it our way and make it
ours. I know that when I entered the chat place the first time I first was
scared to death I had no idea who I was chatting with but they did make me feel
very safe & comfortable. Secondly I had researched and read so much about
DD it was very helpful to actually talk to others that lived this lifestyle I
was so curious about. I of course knew they didn’t have all the answers but
sometimes it just feels nice to speak to someone openly that has a clue on how
you are feeling. I loved the fact that it seemed the people did not pass
judgement nor push their beliefs on you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> Fifty Shades of Grey the movie is out, I have
had several of my friends and family ask if I have seen it, I have not. I know
many did not like the book but I was one that did. I will see it, I would
rather rent it just because I have a hard time sitting still for very long. I
have heard mixed reviews but for the most part the friends or family I know
seemed to all like it, I never like a movie as much as a book I have read but I
will see it eventually. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"> My reading selections have changed the past
several months. I have been reading a lil more often and all sorts of books. I
did read a book recently “Disciplined Desired” by Lisa Simons. I enjoyed the
book, the wife in the book believes DD could possibly help her marriage and she
discovers a “Chat” room, well you will have to read the book, I shouldn’t spoil
it for you. The author is actually someone who comes into the chat I frequent
way too much! You might enjoy reading it, I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">Lee and I have been in a pretty good place
lately. There are times that we both could do better but as I always say I am
kinda sorta somewhat NEW still!!!! I told you this post was going to be all
over the place! I was right just me and my thoughts. This one also just popped
in my head. I have met people through chat from just curious or beginning, to
living this lifestyle for over twenty years I have also met those that live a
TPE relationship. What do we all seem to have in common we just want to have
the BEST relationship possible such a nice thing to have in common.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;">I told you this post was going to be all over
the place, today I am like that squirrel that runs in the road!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-61456457086095514182015-01-31T12:37:00.000-05:002015-01-31T12:37:08.064-05:00Basic Training!!!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #f1c232; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I had never researched it, never even thought about it
honestly. I had heard about it, I had read a blog or two about it. Just mostly
never thought it would pertain to us. BOOT CAMP just sounded a little harsh. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #f1c232; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Holiday time can be so busy. We are already busy people then
add the holiday season with all that goes on and well we had not been as
focused on our relationship as we both like to be. DD was there, but with so
much company, Angel being home most of the time, shopping, cooking, and
traveling we just had very little time for US. To top it off another not
scheduled trip (only 18 days) across the country for Lee. UGH!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #f1c232; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I received an email from Lee this one kinda shocked me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> <i>“</i></span><i>I want
you to always have that feeling that I am watching you, I want you to feel that
whether we are together or apart that you know I am there to lead and take care
of you as well as respect my direction, expectations and knowing that I will hold you just as accountable as I
do of myself. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I will not
let things slide as I have these past two months whether you think your good or
not. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I want more dominance
out of me as I know this will lead to what I want more out of you being more
submissive.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><i>Here is what I want more from each of us. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I know you do not want to hear this,
but I want to do a mini boot camp.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span> I
know this will help reset and instill in us our roles. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>In reading about this again there are
areas that will benefit both of us to achieve the levels I want from each
other. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I know you don't and
will put up a fuss, but I am not going to waiver on this too much.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span> I will consider baby steps
here and we can discuss, but I will make the final decision that is best for
both of us.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span> The us
part is the dominance and submissiveness I am looking for.”</i></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">He is correct I did put up a lil fuss. I have to admit
though the more he explained it, what he believed would benefit the two of us
the more I was curious. We exchanged a few emails about it, spoke a lil on the
phone about it, he decided we would start when he returned. Lee returned late
that night after a 20+ hour flight I knew he would have jet lag, much to my
surprise he was very much alert & awake.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We discussed, I mostly listened, I truly did! One thing that
truly amazes me about my husband is he has his own way about things. He did
read/research about “boot camp”, he decided what he would implement in our life
to help get us both back on track and where he/we would like to be. I love the
fact that he admits he is not perfect and I love the fact that he holds himself
also accountable when we let this part of our lifestyle take a backseat.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> This “boot camp” I truly think should be called “basic
training” it for us is to help as he said to instill in us our roles (reaffirm)
which both however different, are both just as important to one another. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> It has only been a few days, and I must say the man (drill
Sergeant) is really taking his role seriously. He isn’t really barking out
orders to me that is not his way. Well he is having me do a few things that I am
not at all accustomed to. If I falter there is a consequence, Lee says boot
camp (“mini” mind you is what he said in his email) will last 21 days.
Something about making a habit & breaking a habit, whatever!</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Our boot camp/basic training is ours; it is about the things
we both need to work on for the benefit of our relationship. Some things I am
now required to do are things some of my friends have never had an issue with
but might be more difficult for me. These can really be very basic tasks or
requirements. Some requirements are to let me know he is the one in charge not
me. Some might even be for his benefit only.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I have spoken with some of my friends about this; we
actually had a tih chat conversation about it. We spoke about intensity how it
isn’t just about punishment & sp******, the intensity is also about the
feeling of HOH being on all the time and you submitting to the requests that
are made even if in your prideful head you are thinking… Are you serious, or
just crazy? I believe the goal might be to not think that. lol Some have had
boot camp; some of those believe a longer one would be much more beneficial.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> After the conversation, it seemed to me many tih’s would like a “boot camp”
their “OWN” boot camp. Maybe to reaffirm their roles, work on consistency, to
know their HOH is truly vested & paying attention, to even receive that
attention, for their HOH to become more confident in their role and not feel
guilty possibly about “hurting” the one they love, maybe for a couple who has
practiced for awhile a way to “jumpstart” if maybe there has been a lull,
showing your vulnerability, losing some of the bad habits formed over the
years, to stop over thinking or analyzing, the closeness felt, and for some it
is just simple when they are showing their dominance we just MELT and truly
become submissive and it feels amazing. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I realized also that many, whether
submissive naturally or just bold really want the same thing to know their HOH
is the one in charge, true to their word (we hate empty threats). One of my
friends said it best she is submissive to her HOH 90% of the time but that last
10% is maybe PRIDE that the HOH has to break through to truly get that 100%,
because for many 100% is the goal, whether we give it or they have to take it.
Some of us want to know they are strong enough to break through and take it. It
is not that we doubt their strength, but honestly some can manipulate, talk, or
even seduce that strength right out of them.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We all have our own things to work
on and different things, habits to break, different ways to work on them, that is why it is so
important to make things whether rules, consequences, boot camp, or DD your
own.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;"> I am excited and apprehensive about this “Basic Training”
only time will tell. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-90256973233956334132014-11-11T13:59:00.000-05:002014-11-11T13:59:07.241-05:00Milestones!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We are in a good place. NO! I take that back, we are in a
great place! It is not perfect but it is perfect for us right now. I think
tonight about all of the obstacles we have overcome. How much our love and
relationship has grown even though we have been together almost half of my
life! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I knew DD could maybe possibly help us. I had no idea how
much though. It has surpassed all that I could possibly have imagined. Now I am
not saying that it is going to stay that way because as I have learned over the
last year and a half, it is ever changing. As we also change or grow. There are
ups and downs, highs and lows, but regardless we have learned to work together
through the lows and truly enjoy and embrace the highs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> This weekend was a milestone for us well it was for me
anyway. It wasn’t planned, rehearsed, even thought about. It was a beautiful
morning just a little too cold for me, while we were just beginning our day we
started talking. Now don’t get me wrong, we always talk, but this talk just
kinda took a life of its own. I am not sure how it even began. I have never had an issue saying what I feel
really well… until we started DD. I actually became embarrassed to discuss
certain things and pretty much have been that way since the start. If I had a
difficult time expressing my feelings about something, when I had the courage,
I would email Lee. I did so much better in emails. One thing about my emails I
do not edit or proofread them, I type what is exactly in my head at the moment
and go with it. It is one of the few times I try not to overthink. Lee says I
overthink things. I do not try to make it sound good or bad. I just tell it
like it is, the way I feel. Mostly it has nothing to do with Lee, it is just my
feelings about what might be going on at the time.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Berlin Sans FB, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">This problem I have of not being able to actually talk to him
about something that might seem embarrassing or taboo has made some talk
difficult. I know, I know, how in the world can anything be taboo, my gosh
woman the man sp**** you! Well some things just are.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We both just seemed to open up and say what we felt. We just
started talking it wasn’t scheduled, planned, or even something I had planned
to bring up. It just happened. We both talked about how we have grown, how
things have changed, and some things we both want to explore further. We both
spoke of thoughts and desires we have, most of them most private. Lee was
receptive to mine as well as me being receptive to his. It was actually a lil
funny how so many things we both desire neither really told the other. Yes
there were some things he had told me or spoken about in the past, but usually
when something came up that I was a little uncomfortable or embarrassed by would
be hard to discuss, I would get quiet so some of the time we would end up just skimming the
topic. Remember I was Vanilla! This time I was totally comfortable with what we
were discussing. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Of course he has always
seemed more comfortable than I on certain subjects, but this time I was good
with it.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> After our two hour talk, I came away feeling so blessed, to
have a husband that truly can listen that considers my thoughts &
feelings. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">A man that doesn’t think he
knows all the answers, and doesn't pretend to, one that believes there is always more to learn, and will research or chat to learn more, one that realizes we change over time so adjustments might need to be made, one
that doesn’t believe there is just one way to do things, knows there are many . He can
easily tell me how he feels, he doesn’t groan if I say can we talk. I do not
have to compete with the TV, laptop, or phone (I do know better not to suggest
we need to talk during an SEC football game). I am blessed to have a husband
who “gets me”. I am thankful that he is who he is. Now do not get me wrong he
is NOT Perfect! But he was awfully close this day. LOL! Again though, things
are ever changing.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: yellow; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I wanted to just write my feelings mostly today, because many
of my post can be not so great, not being on the same page, frustrations, inconsistency.
This is a Happy post, maybe the next one will be also, one never knows.</span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-32239405331596966502014-09-23T23:04:00.000-04:002014-09-23T23:04:12.066-04:006 DD Couples & a Duck<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I cannot believe I forgot to post this! As I was writing on
my blog today I noticed I never hit publish!!!! O well, better late than
never!!!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">It finally happened! We six DD couples (and a duck) finally
met for a long weekend! We came from all different parts of the country and one
from Canada. We also were able to connect with one special chat lady for a few
hours before the weekend officially began.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> It was an amazing weekend. I knew we would all like one
another and was pretty sure everyone would be the same as they are in “chat”. I
have to admit there were a few tears of joy shed to finally meet someone you
have chatted with a very long time and you so badly wanted to meet. I was so
happy to be in the company of these couples, and had waited a long time for
this to happen. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We all stayed in a very large cabin, ate meals together, cooked
together, the men golfed, the ladies shopped and went to lunch (the drink menu
was on a ping pong paddle). There were some games played, fun get to know you
games, some shot pool, I got beat bad at air hockey. There was a lil drinking,
cigar smoking, dancing, music and we won’t mention the hot tub (no there was
nothing kinky that happened in the hot tub, we are very much into our own
spouses).</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> There were some gifts exchanged seems some HOH’s think their
“brothers” can never have enough “implements”!</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">
</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Like maybe a long foam sword, rubber coated paint sticks, big wooden
paddle (but it said something sweet and was beautifully hand painted), lil
wooden spoons, handmade wooden paddles crafted beautifully stained and sealed. A
mini oar there is nothing “mini” about it! The ladies little tokens of love were
so much better. There were martini glasses and shot glasses hand painted with angel
wings. Beautiful bags, halo’s (yes halo’s), pillows, candy (long pixie sticks,
pop rocks) Just use your imagination. Some might have received a special gift
like maybe a shovel and a bucket “just to dig yourself out of the hole you keep
digging yourself into”. I can’t even remember all of the sweet gifts.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> We went to dinner one night to a place called Dick’s. If you
haven’t been there you should go, not so much for great food but just for the
entertainment. It was very entertaining as the wait staff is rude to you and
our little waitress was great she didn’t miss a beat, even when all of the
HOH’s at the exact same time decided to pull their wooden paddles out of their
pocket and place them on the table. She just turned around and stuck her bottom
out!!! She wasn’t even the least bit taken aback. We did a little bit of
moonshine tasting, shopped some more and just spent much of the time laughing,
talking, and just having a great time together.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I feel so very fortunate to have been able to meet these
couples in real life, they are people I genuinely care about and love. I know
about their children, their parents, and their pets. We have so much more in
common than just this lifestyle. As different as some of us might be or even
live DD we also have so much in common. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> The long weekend ended way too fast I
wasn’t ready for it to end. Since returning home we did received a wonderful
photo slide show/movie with music to it that I can watch anytime I start
missing these folks. Now I just cannot wait for the next time! </span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-28947403932754110672014-09-19T16:42:00.001-04:002014-09-19T16:42:51.301-04:00Happy Camper... NOT!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I have had a wonderful
two weeks since Lee has returned from working out of the country. Upon his
return we spent a long weekend at the lake, and then we were off to the beach
for a little more than a week. Just the two of us, no distractions, just fun
& sun in our favorite spot. Lying on
the beach, swimming, walking, riding bikes, eating amazing seafood, umbrella
drinks for me and dancing! It was an amazing week for the both of us. We
enjoyed our “us” time so much!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Now it is back to reality. Back to work and our everyday
normal life. I was a little concerned about coming back, for one thing I hate
coming home, I Love the beach so much it is my “Happy Place” I am always so
relaxed there. My second concern was us going back to being busy or tired and
not focusing on one another. It happens to us almost every time. That “real
life” part always seems to mess us up a bit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I was pleasantly surprised when we returned home and he was
still on his game. He didn’t seem tired, busy, or even preoccupied with
anything. We were still focused on one another. It did help that our Angel who
recently moved back home was out of town for the next week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Last night, Lee came home from work telling me they need him
out of the country again. “Really???? You were not supposed go back until after
January”. So he is now leaving again, like in two days!!!! Usually I have time
to prepare for this like months usually, not this time. So I am not happy right
now, I am actually really mad about it. I know it is not his fault; I should be
proud that he is needed and is the “go to” guy when there is a problem at his
place of employment. Well… I am just still mad. This is supposed to be a short
trip only two weeks so I should be thankful for that, his trips are always a
minimum of three weeks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I haven’t acted out well kinda sorta somewhat haven’t, maybe
just a tiny bit this morning. I tried to
keep it in, but anyone that knows me knows I am not good at that. I have always
had a difficult time with not saying exactly what I think or feel. I do try
though but it always eventually comes out.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I know I should just suck it up and deal with it, I used to
be very good at that, heck I used to not even care when he was gone. This new
lifestyle has changed more than just our relationship; it has changed me and
how much I need him. That is not always a good thing. </span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-36473074810225419212014-07-19T10:10:00.000-04:002014-07-19T10:10:04.173-04:00PINK! IS MY COLOR!!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Lee and I have had so much going on there has really been not
much “us” time. Our oldest has moved home after 5 years and wow what a change
in our life. Now don’t get me wrong I love this kid but I am just so used to
having much alone time with Lee. Her room is right next to ours so that can
make it difficult for our life to continue as it had been. She has been home
all of the time while our other child is rarely home. We have had lots of
company, have been out of town, many functions to be at, more company is
coming, and work has been extremely busy. So with that being said DD had been
pretty nonexistent really. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I have been “off” I know I have. Not really going by some of
my “rules” not on purpose just because well sometimes I just don’t think about
them with all that has been happening. I know it has been tough for Lee as
well. It truly has been difficult for both of us.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Berlin Sans FB, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Lee decided we needed a reset, regroup, resomething. He let
me know this would be happening that night and a few nights in a row. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I explained to him it cannot she will hear. He
let me know he is using one of the silent implements, well you know what Lee that
might be silent but it’s kind of hard for me to be silent when that thing is
hitting my a$$! First night it hurts, but I get through it but it hurts. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I go upstairs the next night, thinking he has maybe
forgotten, he has not as he tells me OTK! I am like what? We don’t do OTK! He responds, "We are now"! Well he starts, I hate this thing, and it hurts really extra
bad. I wiggle, squirm, attempt a flip, and I beg for him to stop. He is NOT
listening; he just keeps on going grabs my hand, traps my legs, and just
proceeds.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I do actually feel better well my mind feels better
afterwards, but my a$$ does not, for days I mean many days it hurts. That deep
down to the bone kind of hurt. It is difficult to sit, I don’t even want him to
touch it actually it is bruised ugly!</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">
</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">The third night, I think it was the third night, the wonderful man takes
pity on me and lets me off of this reset/regroup/resomething. He knows I am not
teasing, tricking, or playing as it still hurts. I do tell him that
seemed like a punishment not the other. He let me know it was actually both; I
broke some rules and needed to realize who was in charge.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I hope the next few
months fly by, so both of our children can be at their own place and we can be
alone at ours. I don’t care for those “silent” implements and they really are
not very good for me.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I don’t look good in purple/blue/black I look much better
in shades of pink! Light ones actually, yes light pink is definitely my color!</span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-48745765984180050602014-06-21T11:30:00.002-04:002014-06-21T11:30:48.113-04:00Rambling Thoughts & Feelings<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> It has been a busy three weeks with Lee away, and then some
days not so busy. I am feeling a little off this trip, not upset, mad, or sad,
just off. I did so well the first week emailing him, filling in that spreadsheet,
but the second week things were a little hectic around here, I also went out of
town so I didn’t email him the spreadsheet. Then by this week I guess just out
of the habit or just because I am feeling off I didn’t email it either. I have emailed
him, we have talked I have told him my counts or my best estimate anyway. Just
feeling a little off. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Lee has let me know how disappointed he is and also I will be
“dealt with” when he returns. I didn’t mean to disappoint him that was not deliberate.
I am in my own little space right now and besides he is so far away. It is
sometimes hard for me to feel his strength long distance and when he is gone
for a period of time like this. Nothing he has done or not done, just me I
think. I don’t like the feeling; it reminds me of the way it used to be a very
long time ago. It is like I am in my own space (not honey’s world) just by
myself, not really wanting to meet up with friends; I still do, just not really
wanting to. It is that feeling like I am only accountable to me; well I am the
only one here right now. I am one that does enjoy my alone time, it is
important to me. I know I am rambling but sometimes writing out these crazy
feelings of mine really helps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I am not even sure if I am a tih, I am so not submissive,
well sometimes I am but not often. I do like that when he is home anyway; he is
the leader, the HOH, the boss, the man! I love when he is home and hate when he
is not. That says so much to me when it used to not phase me when he was gone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> Wait… I think I am starting to feel better!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> I cannot be the
perfect tih as hard as I may try, just impossible for me, and besides he would
be bored with such a perfect tih, that is not what I strive for anyway. I do
like to keep things fun, exciting, and maybe a little challenging. Everyone
likes a good challenge. I don’t know how I will be “dealt with”. I have
explained to him when he arrives home we will not be alone at all; we will be
taking care of our daughter who is having surgery on Monday that will keep us
very busy. Then we will be meeting some friends that I am just dying to see. I
can hardly wait I am so excited about this trip.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> So as far as being “dealt with” that will have to be put on
the back burner for awhile, as there is just no time and no privacy. Or maybe,
just maybe… I will get a reprieve as I am sure he misses me so very much, and
when I begin to work my “magic” he is sure to forget & forgive. </span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-33661848232769510942014-06-10T19:02:00.001-04:002014-06-10T19:03:36.089-04:00For Lee... Smiling<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">What could possibly be wrong with smiling??? I don’t see the
problem, people need to smile more. It is not my fault if you make me smile,
wink, shake my booty, stick out my tongue and then run! It is just me. You love
me, you love my spunk. So… what on earth could be the problem? You (Lee) say I
am very good at distracting & negotiating. I know you find it cute, funny,
and maybe a little irresistible. Maybe just maybe I am just trying to make sure
we keep the fun playfulness in our marriage, I certainly wouldn’t be trying to
get out of trouble. Lol! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">When you are away it seems to me you don’t find me quite as
funny and distracting, why is that? Why am I receiving these very long emails
that you want to discuss? In these emails you are using words like manage, accountability,
consistency, expect, loud & clear. In those big and BOLD unfriendly
letters. I am thinking it is because you are thinking… I miss honey so much I
must write her long detailed bossy emails so she knows I am thinking of her.
Yep, that has to be it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Thank you sweetie. I am so glad you are thinking of me and
our marriage so much, but really now, I don’t need you to be getting all HOH’y
and bossy for me to know you love me. I know without a doubt how much you love
me, just as you know how much I love you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">I am so glad we got that all worked out now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt;">
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;">honey</span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-76222107745792692472014-06-01T18:16:00.001-04:002014-06-01T18:16:29.802-04:00AWOL<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> It has been
so long since I have written on my blog. We have been very busy the last couple
of months. DD has been AWOL for the most part. We both know it, realize it,
have spoke about it, are trying to get everything where it needs to be for us.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> Life does
seem to sometimes override what you truly need, want and/or desire. Luckily we
both know what has caused the absence and are trying to get all back on track,
which can be a little difficult when it has been mostly absent.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> We have had
many functions this time of year, we have had lots of company, and both of our
jobs have been extremely busy. That in turn has made DD on & off again
which is not good for me at all.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> I know I am
loved, cherished and even adored without DD, but I am so much better with it
actively consistently practiced. (It has not been totalIy absent BTW)but the on
& off again will cause me to get off kilter a little without it, get in my
own mind, do my own thing, and as Lee likes to say I tend to over think. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> We both have
spoke much about this the last few days and are working on trying to get
everything back to our “normal”. I am a little concerned since he is leaving
again at the end of the week. When he is gone is when I can really lose my mind
a little bit, but I did do great last time. So hopefully I will again.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;"> I know we
all have those times when “real life” interferes with our own real life. I need
to remember we have each other. “I have him”, just like “He has me”. We will
get our “normal” back, because honestly we both know we cannot go back to the “OLD
normal”, not even an option for us. </span></span></b></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-17468514026003711512014-04-14T16:29:00.000-04:002014-04-14T16:29:18.648-04:00Exploit? Me? Never…<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Lee
is on his way home!!!!! I am so excited as I have missed him very much. I have
done great this trip if I do say so myself. I have not had any little anxiety
issues, I really haven’t lost my cool, and I have remained positive almost the
entire time Lee has been gone.</span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">We
have communicated so much more this time sometimes I was lucky enough to talk
to him a few times a day, we also have emailed, well I have to email my
spreadsheet every day. I haven’t succeeded on all of my rules but for most of
them I have done very well. Just one keeps giving me a lil (or a lot depending
how you look at it) trouble.</span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">He
sent me a very long email telling me a little about his day and then most of it
was about us. I love long emails well most times I do. He spoke about how he
thinks we are moving in the right direction, how so many things have improved
in our relationship, how communication & intimacy have greatly improved.
Letting me know what he is getting out of this lifestyle and some more things
he wants. How he feels much more respected, appreciated, trusted, and loved. He
is correct I do feel all of those ten fold.</span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><b style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">He
let me know things were going to be a little different when he returns… Is this
good or bad?? He said he knew there were things he needed to work on also, not
just me. Love it when he says he needs to work on something. He said, </span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">“</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I
have to strike a happy balance for me when you are being sassy and cute trying
to negotiate your way out of the consequence. I struggle with this as you know,
as I like the spunk...you know it and EXPLOIT it!” I don’t think I exploit
anything I am just sweet like that, I can’t really help it if he is just in awe
of me! Well maybe awe isn’t the correct word LOL.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">His email had much to say about things that were
going to have to change, some were about me and the way I need to obey the
rules he has set to help me accomplish goals we have made. I need to make more
of an effort to do so. I know he is correct about this. It is just extra
difficult when he is so far away for so long. He also spoke on things for
himself he was planning on working on, (taking me on more vacations maybe?) No
it was mostly on holding me more accountable, not letting me wiggle my way out
of some things. Well I am all for consistency really I am it is very important,
but now lets not take leaps. Baby steps I like baby steps.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 15.0pt; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background-color: #f1c232; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Bottom line for me, he thinks about us/me, our
relationship, how much we have changed, what needs to change. Things to help
us/me improve, how our relationship has improved. I am lucky, he is lucky, we
are lucky. I am so happy he will be home soon!!!</span></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-82058817996498231332014-04-03T19:45:00.002-04:002014-04-03T19:45:51.544-04:00Hybrid?<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">I am just
sitting here wondering… what am I? what are we? I don’t know at the moment. I
have been thinking about this and actually talking to one of my friends about
it. Are we DD? Are we D/s? Are we both? <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">After
speaking to my friend she made the conclusion maybe we are a “hybrid” I of
course laughed out loud. Maybe we are. There are things about both dynamics I
like well there are also some I don’t like.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">I like that
in DD he holds me accountable, I have a few rules that we have discussed. If I
break them I am in trouble (most of the time). Then I think about other things
like when he is much more dominate about certain things but in a good way. I like both of these and am not sure
sometimes what we are. I do get a say, he almost always asks my opinion on
things, and on almost all we agree. I
also like when I am not given a choice but told yes I know “told” what to do or
what he expects.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232;">I guess it doesn’t
really matter how you classify it or maybe it does and I just don’t care what
the classification is. It is working, it is working for us. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-77723321913275747182014-03-18T19:06:00.000-04:002014-03-18T19:06:48.246-04:00Birthday Surprise!!!!!!<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I have the
most amazing friends! Some I have met some I have only chatted, kik’d, text or
spoken with on the phone, and some I have met in real life. I had no idea a
year ago, I would ever make friends in chat much less begin true friendships
with. I feel so blessed. I have great friends around me that I can see
almost anytime I like. I am lucky I have the friends I do. I feel even luckier
that I have met the friends I have in chat. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">My weekend
started off great as I received a surprise visit from our good friends, I had
no idea they were coming for my birthday to spend the weekend with us. They
gave me the perfect gifts. No it wasn’t a paddle. It was wonderful. The next
day all of us met our other friends for lunch and had a great time. They gave
me the perfect gifts also!!!! I have to say though just spending time with them
is the biggest gift of all. I then received a box from another couple OMGosh! It
was the perfect gift too, well…until I saw the paddle!!! Really??? You know
honey doesn’t like paddles!!!!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PnFvf2HUGhrxLxkjr6WsQeo8XmQRyWewkPYLUeHw2HpRivSzWY4euTYLbynUZKjD2N2uYWqcrji7d3DtJFx4p7BtGFXuP-mdAtvn7toNc1h5CYIzcQVY1UIrE2gz8lTNZNZUfy2snPWS/s1600/card.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PnFvf2HUGhrxLxkjr6WsQeo8XmQRyWewkPYLUeHw2HpRivSzWY4euTYLbynUZKjD2N2uYWqcrji7d3DtJFx4p7BtGFXuP-mdAtvn7toNc1h5CYIzcQVY1UIrE2gz8lTNZNZUfy2snPWS/s1600/card.JPG" height="340" width="400" /></a><b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I then
received an email I opened it, it was like a puzzle card. A little bit later I
realized click on their names and a personal birthday message pops up!!!!! I
want to say “Thank You” to each of them for making my birthday so special. The
card I received was just the best. Thank you friends for going to all the hard
work of putting the puzzle card together. I was so humbled that ya’ll took the
time out of your busy day to write me something special. You have no idea how
much it truly meant to me. I feel so blessed to have each of you in my life.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!!!!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: 'Berlin Sans FB Demi', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf5bHKfLRbsBtVXLt52V0UCUYPkJVCRT1cVZ7RoEJ5zSEej9w4n8x08u1cL3PKebj5854cIRykqSHC20a3pOB3vz09QaARP2gJg3imCZXSQdMX1SPPmqLVlb-gUSUC-yeyYDJ4ko8GQaTm/s1600/pres.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf5bHKfLRbsBtVXLt52V0UCUYPkJVCRT1cVZ7RoEJ5zSEej9w4n8x08u1cL3PKebj5854cIRykqSHC20a3pOB3vz09QaARP2gJg3imCZXSQdMX1SPPmqLVlb-gUSUC-yeyYDJ4ko8GQaTm/s1600/pres.JPG" height="276" width="320" /></a></b></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-63953236288509909362014-02-28T22:14:00.000-05:002014-02-28T22:14:05.753-05:00Misconceptions....<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">I have
something that is really bothering me, I know it shouldn’t be and I probably
really shouldn’t care, but I do care. I have made some IRL friends in what I
call my chat home, and some people I have not met as of yet that I consider
friends.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">A simple
comment was made one day that stated in many blogs this person read she found that
many people who begin this lifestyle are in unhappy marriages, saving a
marriage, bad relationships, etc. and DD is repairing them, instead of
improving an already good relationship. That could be true for the most part I
really don’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> For myself I have had the kind of husband most
of my friends want or think they want. A husband who has tried to always please
me by making me happy. A man that has always been true to his word, caring,
respectful, successful, and a very affectionate loving husband and I am not
even going to speak on the dad he is but that part is pretty awesome also. I
hate to say DD has saved our marriage but I do believe it has. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Lee had no
idea I was having the emotions or feelings I was having about our marriage. I don’t
know if it was a mid life crisis, if I was bored, overwhelmed, or if I wanted a
change. But I needed one, as I have said before in my blog and on chat we were
just letting life get in the way of nurturing our marriage.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> I wanted to be the
best mom I could be, volunteer, room mom, team mom, dance mom, cheer mom, vbs
teacher, etc I could go on and on. I wanted to be a great friend, be involved
in the community and at church, I wanted to set an example for our kids, I
actually somehow became a mom before I was a wife before I realized it. Lee was always providing for us, never
missing the cheering, dancing, piano, softball, swimming, choir, soccer, track,
etc. He was their cheerleader, coach, homework helper, project assistant, etc. All the while neither of us realizing we were
neglecting “us”.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> One day many many years later Lee was traveling again and I
discovered I felt lonely, bored, just like something was missing. Not because
he was really neglecting me but because we both became so involved in other
things and when we were together we really were not alone much of the time.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: #f1c232; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">I don’t mean
to keep rambling I guess I just want to make it clear yes our marriage was in
trouble but not because of lack of love, respect, affection for one another. It
was because we I guess neglected “us” but not intentional. We weren’t busy
partying, playing video games, going out with our friends without one another
all the time. No matter what the reason we still neglected the nurturing a
marriage needs. We did have a good
marriage before DD, but “good” wasn’t good enough for me and I am guessing the
way Lee has taken to DD and says we will never go back to the old way “good” wasn’t
good enough for him either. I guess I just wanted to say not all marriages that
are/were in trouble were bad marriages, they like DD have their own special unique
individual flavor and mine is not vanilla.</span></b></div>
honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4261331276764429607.post-9028835081134480492014-02-01T10:10:00.003-05:002014-02-01T10:10:49.669-05:00HOH Day!!!!!!!!!!!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">EsMay had a brilliant idea HOH Day! I couldn’t
pass this up.</span></b><b><span style="color: #323232; font-family: "Coming Soon","serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My Lee is just the Best HOH for me. From the
beginning, the way he took me serious when introducing this to him. He knew it
was very difficult for me to even mention to him. I wasn’t ever one to show a
vulnerable side, I was always strong or at least pretended to be. He has always
been one to never do things half way, whether that is his work ethic, his
dedication to his friends and family, he always gives all of him. He took his
time slowly and methodically he read what I sent but more importantly he researched
on his own. That was monumental for me. He has embraced this lifestyle much
easier and quicker than I thought. I actually wondered if he would even be very
good at it. It is not how he was programmed, well maybe it was and I just
didn't know it. He is pretty amazing at it. I have now been able to show him my
vulnerable side and we are working on me slowly taking those walls down that
have been up so high most of my life. He didn't let me push him, rush this, he
decided how we would proceed. Not a long list of rules just a few basic ones. I
am so thankful that he has embraced this exactly how he has.</span></b><br />
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another thing I am so thankful for is the
feelings it has stirred up inside of me. When Lee is firm with me and sets
boundaries, I sometimes pout, throw a lil fit, or just learn to accept it. The
boundaries or rules are for my own good most of them have been discussed before
they have become a hard rule. I love that he loves me enough to look out for my
health and well being. He has always shown his love & affection for me and
would suggest maybe you shouldn’t do … but this is different now, it’s more
like I love you so much I am NOT going to allow you to…. I have to admit I love
the feeling it gives me to feel his strength, power, and determination when
I try so hard in my own sweet lil way to change his mind. I think this is my
man, my rock, my safe place. I am so very lucky to have this man who loves and
accepts me for the feisty, spirited, and reactive woman I am. He wants me to be
me, but knows when it is time to pull me back in. I love that he helps me to
keep a lil calmer, to not be so reactive and to tame that temper I can
sometimes have (It has improved so very much). He gives me a secure feeling
that is just so much more than I can describe. I have never felt insecure in
our marriage but I have felt lonely, disconnected, and indifferent. I have
never doubted his love just now it is so obvious and felt no matter if we are
apart or together. This change in our relationship with DD has made our relationship
better than I even imagined. I now feel cherished, connected to the core, I
know I and our marriage is his number one priority.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am so thankful for so many things I cannot
post them all, this post is probably already way too long. Another thing DD and
my HOH has made me thankful for is the intimacy, passion, and yes the sex. When
Lee says just sometimes the smallest thing to me, looks at me a certain way, or
after I have been sp***** (yes, I know hard to believe what could I possibly do
to get a sp******?) Something comes over me, I don’t know exactly what but I
just want him all of him in ways I never did before. This lifestyle change for
us has made us both feel like we are much younger than we are and certainly not
been married as long as we have. We just sometimes cannot get enough of one
another. I do get all tingly, hadn’t been tingly in a long time. I do have
passion and desire that I thought had just disappeared for the most part. Well
thankfully Lee and his role as HOH woke all of that up 10 fold, and I couldn’t
be happier about that! I think he is pretty dang happy about it too! </span></b><br />
<b style="line-height: 15pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Berlin Sans FB Demi","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So for my HOH Lee… Happy HOH Day! I love you
and I thank you from the bottom of my heart and so deep in my soul. </span></b></div>
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honeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13396477826934867124noreply@blogger.com10