Friday, September 19, 2014

Happy Camper... NOT!

      I have had a wonderful two weeks since Lee has returned from working out of the country. Upon his return we spent a long weekend at the lake, and then we were off to the beach for a little more than a week. Just the two of us, no distractions, just fun & sun in our favorite spot.  Lying on the beach, swimming, walking, riding bikes, eating amazing seafood, umbrella drinks for me and dancing! It was an amazing week for the both of us. We enjoyed our “us” time so much!
     Now it is back to reality. Back to work and our everyday normal life. I was a little concerned about coming back, for one thing I hate coming home, I Love the beach so much it is my “Happy Place” I am always so relaxed there. My second concern was us going back to being busy or tired and not focusing on one another. It happens to us almost every time. That “real life” part always seems to mess us up a bit.
     I was pleasantly surprised when we returned home and he was still on his game. He didn’t seem tired, busy, or even preoccupied with anything. We were still focused on one another. It did help that our Angel who recently moved back home was out of town for the next week.
     Last night, Lee came home from work telling me they need him out of the country again. “Really???? You were not supposed go back until after January”. So he is now leaving again, like in two days!!!! Usually I have time to prepare for this like months usually, not this time. So I am not happy right now, I am actually really mad about it. I know it is not his fault; I should be proud that he is needed and is the “go to” guy when there is a problem at his place of employment. Well… I am just still mad. This is supposed to be a short trip only two weeks so I should be thankful for that, his trips are always a minimum of three weeks.
     I haven’t acted out well kinda sorta somewhat haven’t, maybe just a tiny bit this morning.  I tried to keep it in, but anyone that knows me knows I am not good at that. I have always had a difficult time with not saying exactly what I think or feel. I do try though but it always eventually comes out.
     I know I should just suck it up and deal with it, I used to be very good at that, heck I used to not even care when he was gone. This new lifestyle has changed more than just our relationship; it has changed me and how much I need him. That is not always a good thing. 


  1. Aw Honey! At first I was happily reading along, smiling like a goof, and then my heart dropped for you. I'm sorry. I know exactly what you mean about needing them. Barney hasn't been away as long as Lee since we started ttwd but I can only imagine.

    As far as holding it in, why? Tell him exactly what you told us. That you know it isn't his fault. You are proud that he is so needed, but your overriding feeling is anger because YOU want and need him too. Explain that you are telling him not to make him feel guilty, but that is the reason that your emotions are all over the place. If you don't tell him, he may think you are angry WITH him.

    Again I'm sooooo so sorry he has to go away so soon again.


  2. Thank you Willie, I did tell him well I actually started crying (I rarely cry) & told him tonight! Poor Guy now I feel bad getting all emotional on him, he handled it fine. I just feel bad because I know how much he loves me & he actually is not used to my crying. I am usually so "tough". I will get through it, maybe with a little help from WINE. LOL! Thanks again willie.

  3. Honey
    I'll be waiting in chat with a big box of your favorite candy. I know this was a surprise but it won't last forever. Maybe not having time to dwell on it beforehand will be a blessing in disguise. By the time you're done dwelling, he'll be home. I am glad you talked to him with real emotions showing. I think sometimes you let them get lost in the emails. It's ok to not be so "tough" all the time.
    Love ya sweetie