Sunday, June 26, 2016

Appreciating the Differences

Have you ever noticed some Blogs you seem to relate to more than others? I have not read blogs for quite a while. I mean I have a few that I do read, but I used to read so very many of them. There were of course some that I enjoyed much more than others.

I think at the start of DD I read Blogs because I enjoyed reading about other DD relationships and I could relate to many of the authors. Most of the blogs I read no longer exist, I am wondering if it is because they no longer needed them, or maybe they were worried about their anonymity. Maybe they just started living their DD or D/s life and needed not to talk about it because it became truly exactly what they needed/wanted. I do miss some of those Blogs. I appreciated all of the Blogs I read when we were starting out they did help me understand that I was Not totally Crazy.

There are Blogs that have changed over time as they changed in their dynamic, the Blogs took a turn as they should, growth in the relationship would reflect that in the writing.

My Blog really has been more of a diary for me, to look back at where we came from, or to see how far we have or have not grown. I rarely write on my Blog. It is not that I really don’t have the time I write in my personal diary more often though.

I have found some Blogs to have almost a fictitious feel to them, for me anyway. Almost like a story possibly a fantasy. In my experience with being you know kinda, sorta, somewhat NEW the fairy tale stories are Fun to read and I enjoy them some of the time. I actually prefer my books to be more fantasy and blogs I enjoy are the ones that show the good times as well as the bad times. I find those to be more of what I relate to.

The friends I speak with all go through many many tough times, in this dynamic. I find when talking many of us have the same issues I am not sure that is the correct word, but I find that we have many of the same or similar thoughts, the same worries, the same frustrations. I also find we have the same or similar joyful feeling when things are going Great. 

For me it is important to realize this dynamic isn’t all me (future post) nor is it all about Lee being tuned in to me, my ever single thought, need, or always being in HOH/Dom mode. It isn’t Sp******’s and some Hot Knight in Shining Armor grabbing me up and throwing me on the bed sp****** my a$$ and then making mad passionate love. That sounded all great but in reality my reality that can happen but it is so much more than that. There are many tough times, there are many times when I feel unsure, when I feel almost lost inside my head with thoughts, questions and concerns. That to me is my normal it is not always a BED of ROSES, paddles, implements, toys, rope, restraints, or feeling that Uh Oh feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I know for me the Blogs that I can relate to are usually ones that show things are not always Perfect. Since beginning this lifestyle I have cried more in the last three years than I did in our entire marriage. I have been frustrated, I have been mad, I have also had the Best three years in my life. That makes no sense at all, but it is true. I just know for me to read especially when first researching and beginning DD, I had some wonderful Blogs that really helped me to understand different aspects, perspectives, and how every single relationship is different and based on what each relationship needs/wants. I wish some of the "newer" people had those to read.

We all have our own preferences in reading Blogs, whether they are the Adventurous, the Boastful, the Confused, the Demanding, the Expert, the Fantasy, the Friend, the Funny, the Grateful, the Helpful, the Informative, the Judgmental, the Kinky, the Long winded, the Masochist, the Needy, the Obedient, the Passionate, the Player, the Quick Witted, the Rebel, the Seductive, the Sexual, the Sp******, the Thoughtful, the Unique, the Vulnerable, the Wicked, the Yielding, the Zestful and so many more.  We each have our own favorites I think maybe that depends on where you are at that moment in your relationship, I guess it is ever changing.

Saturday, June 25, 2016


I feel a bit different today in writing this. For those of you that are just beginning never think this lifestyle is a bed of ROSES! It is not. BTW I am not fond of roses. Lol

The envelopes that Lee left me really truly helped me to feel closer while he was away.

There was a PROBLEM though he was not nearly as engaged as I was. We all have our moments to be disengaged for one reason or another. His was pretty well… Shocking.

I have always felt loved, cherished, and adored, not so much right now. I do know the man is as human as I am, with that we all make mistakes we all F*** up! Some much worse than others.

All I am saying is Do not ever put anyone on a Pedestal ever, you might just be shocked at how they should not be on that pedestal at all. You in your mind put them there, they did not ask to be put there.

I do love my DD people so much!!!