Sunday, June 26, 2016

Appreciating the Differences

Have you ever noticed some Blogs you seem to relate to more than others? I have not read blogs for quite a while. I mean I have a few that I do read, but I used to read so very many of them. There were of course some that I enjoyed much more than others.

I think at the start of DD I read Blogs because I enjoyed reading about other DD relationships and I could relate to many of the authors. Most of the blogs I read no longer exist, I am wondering if it is because they no longer needed them, or maybe they were worried about their anonymity. Maybe they just started living their DD or D/s life and needed not to talk about it because it became truly exactly what they needed/wanted. I do miss some of those Blogs. I appreciated all of the Blogs I read when we were starting out they did help me understand that I was Not totally Crazy.

There are Blogs that have changed over time as they changed in their dynamic, the Blogs took a turn as they should, growth in the relationship would reflect that in the writing.

My Blog really has been more of a diary for me, to look back at where we came from, or to see how far we have or have not grown. I rarely write on my Blog. It is not that I really don’t have the time I write in my personal diary more often though.

I have found some Blogs to have almost a fictitious feel to them, for me anyway. Almost like a story possibly a fantasy. In my experience with being you know kinda, sorta, somewhat NEW the fairy tale stories are Fun to read and I enjoy them some of the time. I actually prefer my books to be more fantasy and blogs I enjoy are the ones that show the good times as well as the bad times. I find those to be more of what I relate to.

The friends I speak with all go through many many tough times, in this dynamic. I find when talking many of us have the same issues I am not sure that is the correct word, but I find that we have many of the same or similar thoughts, the same worries, the same frustrations. I also find we have the same or similar joyful feeling when things are going Great. 

For me it is important to realize this dynamic isn’t all me (future post) nor is it all about Lee being tuned in to me, my ever single thought, need, or always being in HOH/Dom mode. It isn’t Sp******’s and some Hot Knight in Shining Armor grabbing me up and throwing me on the bed sp****** my a$$ and then making mad passionate love. That sounded all great but in reality my reality that can happen but it is so much more than that. There are many tough times, there are many times when I feel unsure, when I feel almost lost inside my head with thoughts, questions and concerns. That to me is my normal it is not always a BED of ROSES, paddles, implements, toys, rope, restraints, or feeling that Uh Oh feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I know for me the Blogs that I can relate to are usually ones that show things are not always Perfect. Since beginning this lifestyle I have cried more in the last three years than I did in our entire marriage. I have been frustrated, I have been mad, I have also had the Best three years in my life. That makes no sense at all, but it is true. I just know for me to read especially when first researching and beginning DD, I had some wonderful Blogs that really helped me to understand different aspects, perspectives, and how every single relationship is different and based on what each relationship needs/wants. I wish some of the "newer" people had those to read.

We all have our own preferences in reading Blogs, whether they are the Adventurous, the Boastful, the Confused, the Demanding, the Expert, the Fantasy, the Friend, the Funny, the Grateful, the Helpful, the Informative, the Judgmental, the Kinky, the Long winded, the Masochist, the Needy, the Obedient, the Passionate, the Player, the Quick Witted, the Rebel, the Seductive, the Sexual, the Sp******, the Thoughtful, the Unique, the Vulnerable, the Wicked, the Yielding, the Zestful and so many more.  We each have our own favorites I think maybe that depends on where you are at that moment in your relationship, I guess it is ever changing.


  1. The LONG WINDED? Just who exactly are you referring to missy????

  2. Okay now for the long winded..... I was saying just the other day to my gf Susie, ( a more silent blogger as of late), that I sure am glad I stumbled upon blogs when I did. I miss reading the blogs from back then. I don't like to see bloggers suffer, but stumbling IS part of ttwd~ or rather it has been for us, and everyone I know.

    I am not saying that those who write about the good times no longer stumble, just perhaps that they no longer feel the need to share. That is unfortunate though. There is a two fold problem with that ( IMHO) The first being that newer people who have yet to have the benefit of knowing bloggers beyond blogs, feel they must be doing something wrong. Or they are alone in their stumbles. The second being that they have written themselves out of support. I suppose they do find it through private friendships, but if you are the one who 'appears' to have the perfect, 'always functioning' ttwd relationship, how do you write about it~ honestly without wrapping it up in a pretty bow each time, when you don't have the perfect?

    I have been around blogging for 4 years, blogging and reading. I know many couples in depth. Many who have been doing ttwd FAR LONGER than I, and I will tell anyone I know that they still struggle-five years in, 8 years in. The issues ( as you referred to them) might even seem similar on the surface, but the deeper into ttwd the deeper the emotions/expectations and yes sometimes even insecurities go. As you said, it isn't just about fluttering stomachs and spanky times. It is raw, often painful and sometimes nasty. Nasty not the way it was before ttwd, if that was your relationship, but nasty because of the new found connection you have. Much like you referred to (sort of) in your last post.

    Ttwd brings about a very deep connection ( or can) and sometimes that brings on hair trigger emotions. Often we settle down and get used to those, until we 'grow' again, and the cycle repeats itself. This can lead to much confusion between one or both parties in the relationship~ giving you the feeling that you are back at the beginning again, when in truth you are at a new beginning. URGH!

    Love willie

    ( is that long winded enough for you ? )

    1. I agree it is a New beginning, maybe the reason I am always NEW lol! I think we all have "Perfect" times I also think we all have some "train wrecks" I think if you feel comfortable sharing both you should, I think the support can be helpful & helpful to others as well when they read many still struggle at times.

  3. I too read and read. Everything and anything I could find. I miss that. I miss the connection with a writer that made me feel so less alone. I'm not sure why I quit reading. I don't even really read stories either anymore. Maybe I don't need them like I did. Maybe I'm ok in my role and dynamic that I don't require that connection anymore. Or maybe I've found another avenue to get what I wanted through chat. I don't know but lately I've been wondering why I don't read as much anymore. I've also not written in forever. Not that anything has been worth writing about. Maybe I'll have something profound to say soon. Maybe I'll write another story. Either way, I'm around lurking in the shadows. LOL

    1. You have been so Busy with much on your plate. I think for some to read about other relationships is not something they care to do, for some they just don't have the time. I agree chat was what I prefer when the topic is something of interest to me. I rarely write on my Blog I have plenty to say some days but can't seem to make the time to write. LOL

  4. Hi, I have never read your blog before, but I stumbled into it on the ADDS website. I just want to say that as a fellow DD blogger I thought this was a really cool post. There certainly are so many different flavors of blogs- each couple does it differently, and each submissive (it seems the submissive is typically the blogger) processes it differently. I fear that many of these blogs are short lived because many DD relationships can't survive the test of time. Maybe people just are too lazy to put in the effort needed for this whole thing to work. In any case, thanks for the genuine and insightful post :)

    1. Thank you Kate. I am not sure if they can't stand the test of time because they are lazy, I believe sometimes it is a lack of communicating what you truly want/need and the other understanding exactly what you want/need. I hate to ever hear of a DD relationship not lasting, with all the work that goes into it, that makes me sad for the couple. I will look for your blog this weekend, I do not think I have ever read it.