This has
been some crazy Year!!!
We have
had much happen since the last time I posted. It has been a very very long
time. We have had to deal with things that all people have to deal with, there
has just been so much of it.
One of
our very good friends the husband, by a crazy fluke accident found out he has
Multiple Myeloma, his wife of course is beside herself as we all are. This man
is one of the fittest men I have ever known in my life. He didn’t even know he
was ill until they told him, once they told him, he was in critical condition,
he now a year later is in remission thank God.
Another
good friend who is really like family lost their nephew to leukemia. He has
fought this battle for three years, and leaves a beautiful wife & very
young son.
My good
friend lost her husband suddenly with no warning, he leaves behind two sons and
a devastated wife.
There has
been so much loss & sadness. Those were just a few. Some are just to hard to even speak of. There have also been
some Good times during all of this, actually Wonderful times have happened.
Our
Princess worked her tail off & is now a College Graduate she actually
starts her first “Big Girl” job tomorrow. We could not be prouder.
Our Angel
received a beautiful surprise Proposal & she said Yes! We couldn’t be
happier. Wedding plans are going well. No Bridezilla yet.
Lee began
a new job, after leaving his job of 15+ years. So MUCH has been going on. I
wonder how in the world do people stay focused?? Maybe it is just me, him, us.
It just seems we can get through something and then a week or a month later
everything seems to be just a mess, or maybe I am the only mess.
I know I
have an Amazing husband, I also know he is not Perfect nor am I. I just wish at
times we could stay on the same road for more than a little while. I must be
asking for toooo much, I am the one that brought DD to us. I did not bring the
Ds but he did and damnit if I didn’t LOVE it, who knew?? LOL
I
am really not LOL, I feel sometimes like I am in a storm and just not a rain
storm, I am thinking a CAT 5 hurricane. I am choosing to try my best to focus
more on “other” things to keep my mind off what I feel I am missing. We talk,
he is attentive, he is not some horrible negligent husband, maybe I am just wanting
to much. I probably am, I just need to realize that & get over it. It just
seems hard to do for me, I guess once you get a taste of what could be Great,
you don’t want to be without it. UGH We are busy, we have had much to deal with
the past year heck we have had much to deal with the past week. I just need to
realize, this too will pass and we will be stronger for it. I just am not
feeling very strong this evening. Okay rant and pity party over; tonight
anyway, I am getting sleepy. I need to sleep.
Well you know where I stand on all of this, so you know you are not alone. Once you have had the great, the rest seems so hollow at times. Sure it does feel selfish to want more, or greedy or whatever adjective one wants to use to reprimand ourselves, but the fact is it isn't. Just because we want to live in the glory of greatness within our relationship and for ourselves, doesn't mean we are ungrateful for what we have.
ReplyDeleteIt can be frustrating and yes deeply hurtful when we can see what we have had and almost touch it again and again, only for it to disappear before our eyes. We can justify why this happens a million different ways, but deep in our heart we don't believe the excuses. It is hurtful because we think, " Doesn't he miss that part of us?" . Times like this ttwd can really suck! Not because of it, but because the lack of it.
willie
Thank you Willie for your reply. I beleive you hit the nail on the head, "Doesn't he miss that part of us" He will bring it to the forefront I usually do not mention it anymore, and we begin again. I just am not much for merry go rounds, I can handle the roller coaster well I used to could LOL The lack of it really sucks, and then it takes me time to honestly get back to that point where I feel all is right.
DeleteHaving been going through the same things ourselves, I feel I can understand bit. But I know many things are different too. I feel that CAT 5 storm, it's so hard. So friggin hard. :( Because we've tasted the great, we've basked in it, we've thrived and grown and basically glowed in it. And then it's gone. :( We're working our way back, and hope you guys can find a way to as well. It will probably look different this time around, but I hope it's still just as beautiful. :)
ReplyDeleteEsMay
That was supposed to say through some of the same things. Sorry about that.
DeleteThanks EsMay and I hope you guys find your way back sooner than later. Lee brought it up the other night, I did not. That to me is Great that he does notice and wants to get back on track. We are not in a bad place we are just not in the place that is Best for us. When he talks, I listen, I honestly have not had much to say, I have said it before. I have nothing to add, he knows this and he makes the choice of what happens next.
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