I feel like we are at the end of a journey tonight. I know much has to do with him being away for so long and before he left there were many reasons we were not our “normal” selves. Sometimes I believe you get to a point to where you think… Is this ever going to work for more than a few months. It is on it is off and then repeat. I tonight am finished repeating. I am not mad or upset just accepting of the fact. That is scary in itself, for me when I just accept something even something I do not like, I am usually not very silent about it, when I do become silent that pretty much means well I am just done.
I do not know what the future holds. I do not know how this will play out. I do know this lifestyle brought us much closer together, improved the intimacy, and the passion I felt I had not felt in a very long time. I won’t say those things are gone they are just in a secret hiding place that I can’t seem to find.
It makes me wonder for those that have tried without success to get their partner on board. Is it harder to start stop and repeat? Maybe it is harder to never start when it is something you truly desire, want or even need. I have always felt so bad for those that can’t seem to make their partner understand how important this is to them. I also feel bad for the ones that had a relationship only to have it not work out and have to start over.
There are so many positives about this relationship, but I certainly believe if not done correctly there are just as many negatives.