OK here goes...
Hi, I am Honey and have been married to Lee for almost 23 years. Around a year ago something changed within me. I knew my marriage was good, Lee was always a great provider, great dad, and loved me. Many of my friends would tell me, "You are so lucky he is what most women want". What was wrong with me, I wasn't happy. I needed more and felt like I wanted to leave actually RUN away.
During our marriage Lee accepted a new job that had him traveling out of the country quite a bit and working long hours, he worked hard and I took care of our home and children at some point I became the decision maker, the bill payer, the disciplinarian. I felt like I wore the pants in our home. I was alone a lot and just began to handle everything. Lee was very different at work he was the Boss and acted like it.
I began researching mostly about myself and ran across Domestic Discipline. OMGosh! I had never heard of such a thing. Well it totally had my attention; I became so intrigued and interested. I wanted to feel like I was not in total control; I wanted to be accountable for my actions (spending way too much money, smoking, and my hot little temper). Well I know there was no way Lee could ever be an "HOH" with me. He is such a kind respectful caring man. I was just too powerful. I asked Lee for a separation, he was shocked, he didn't see it coming at all. Lee and I "separated" but lived in the same home for 6 months. We were kind to one another and started talking mostly about how we neglected our marriage, got lazy, and let 'life" get in the way. I would be moving out in 3 months when school let out.
Then something happened on my 5 hour drive home from a trip I have no idea what really but I called him and said I would like to talk to you about our marriage. Then I cried and cried and cried. He said I needed to calm down and we would talk when I arrived home. I had no idea how to explain what I wanted, he asked me to talk to him. I told him I had been on the internet for months researching and reading about a different kind of marriage than ours. I couldn't talk about it, so I just sent emails to him with posts from websites and links to different sites. Some emails were 20-50 pages. I know I can overdo it sometimes. Kinda like this post. Well he would respond to my emails by saying this is interesting.
I just knew he was going to think I was crazy, me want this, I am strong willed, stubborn, and very sassy. We did not talk much about it. Lee left the country and had left me a letter stating I have read everything you have sent me and I have been researching on my own. WOW! Really? I would like to start this as soon as I return from my business trip; we will sit down and make rules and talk. He also said how he knew it had to be very difficult for me to open up and give him all of this information. It was extremely difficult for me. He said he was apprehensive about spanking because he did not want to hurt me. I knew he is not going to be able to be my HOH. I was so WRONG!