It
has been awhile since I have blogged. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say
because I have so many feelings, emotions, and things on my mind, I just don’t
know where to start. Like today for instance…
Many of you know one of mine & Lee’s
goals is for me to quit smoking, omgosh it is so difficult. I am allowed x
number of cigarettes a day. It is decreased by one a week. If I go over the
specified amount then I am “in trouble”. BIG TROUBLE.
Well, I went over, so I am due AGAIN,
I just got “in trouble” on Friday actually that was what Lee called my final
installment payment for the times I went over when he was out of town. There is
no way I could have been sp***** that many times and walked the next day, if we
didn’t do it in installments. We have to work around our princess’s schedule
and she has been home quite a bit lately, lucky me! J
That sp****** was the worst ever!!! No
warm up that time, none at all. He said I keep breaking our agreement (by
accident of course) and needs to give me something to remind me that going over
my limit has a consequence one that I should not forget.
Tonight she will be leaving and he
said we will take care of your “count” as he calls it later tonight. I begged,
I pleaded, I asked can we just not, I don’t think I can handle this again so
soon. He looked at me with that cute grin he always has and said, “Let’s make a
deal, I won’t sp*** you, if you will go the next two days, lowering your count
by 1 each day, but if you go over you are getting sp*****! Plus 10 more for not
sticking to the deal.”
No way! I can barely keep within my
limit now and to decrease it more… well that’s just absurd. Why would I take a
chance to get 10 extra??? Nope not me! So I will take my sp******, like a big
girl, well probably not really. I will ever so slowly walk up the stairs, I
will beg, I will jump up & down, I will ask can I just leave my panties on,
and then I will eventually get into position. OUCH!!!!!!
Lee reminds me consistency is
extremely important and he is bound and determined to be a consistent HOH! Yes
dear, I know consistency is important but can you just not be so consistent
this time????
Oh dear Ashley :( I so so so feel for you, as I k ow how hard it is. I also can't stop, and have a certain limit and have to ask before I smoke. I can't tell you how many spankings I've had over it :(
ReplyDeleteStopping smoking is hard and only those who smoke understand it, I wish you all the best with stopping :)
Hugs x
Sweet Honey!! I loved your comment, "I know consistency is important but can you just not be so consistent this time????" I really laughed when I read that because I find myself praying all the time that just this ONCE can he overlook something I did!? And I know, "No, he can't" because he feels the exact same thing Lee does. That if he gives me an inch, I SURELY will go the mile!!! He says that the consistency is for my own safety as well as my own peace of mind!! I tell him I'd sleep a whole lot better when my bottom is not burning.......... he doesn't even appreciate the truth in that!!! Oh well. I guess this is just something we signed up for..............
ReplyDeleteFortunately, when push comes to shove, and i'm spending "quality" time in the corner thinking about these things, I do realize that it would be so much easier for D if he COULD overlook things that I have done, and not bother with the effort it takes to address the issues. Wouldn't he sleep better without the stress of dealing with my shortcomings? Well, honestly, I don't think either of us would rest better, sore bottom or not, for what he does he does totally out of the love he feels for me. Could you ask for anything more???
Thanks Missy, you are correct it is so difficult!!!!
ReplyDeletePippi, you are correct, I couldn't ask for anything more and nope he is still determined to be consistent. But I wouldn't want it any other way. Love u sweet friend!!!!
Aww, sometimes we think we wish for them to just not be consistent once or twice, but secretly, it's such a good feeling when they are isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he's being so consistent, even if it means you might be a little sore. ;)