Sunday, January 12, 2014

Chronicle! Spreadsheet! Sp******!

          I started it, I know I did. I sent Lee an email basically saying I miss him, I hope he arrived safely, I loved him, and then something about we have been very busy and maybe this DD stuff is not good for us at this time. I know we are so much closer, I know it does take much work though. I told him about me feeling needy, anxious, and maybe even crazy, and not liking it at all.  I let him know when he is here and leading me I feel so much better. I said something about us not having regular sit downs in awhile. I let him know I was just rambling and needed to go to sleep. I know it was a dumb move. I really just typed it and hit send. I have a habit of just saying what is on my mind without really thinking about it first.
          He called and was very HOH’y and loving at the same time. He let me know he would help me get through this and would be sending me an email. I always look forward to his emails.
          I woke up this morning, went downstairs to read my email. WHAT??? Really? Is he serious? His email was... well here is part of it.
I am not surprised by your two notes.  I expected it as it shows to me you are submitting more and more to me which makes you feel more vulnerable and needy.  Personally, I love that you are giving more to me and it does tell me you trust me more so now than you ever have.  It makes me feel so wanted and needed.  But, I also want to remind you that you are STILL a very strong woman and one that I respect and love so much.  Just because I am not physically there does not mean I am not there.  I am with you in heart and soul and I know you know that. I am just a text, phone call or face time away. I hate that you second guess this and feel you are crazy.  I want you to be confident in this lifestyle as I am.  I believe you are, except when I travel.  I need to come up with a better plan for you during this time to help you. Not that you are needy of help at all…just guidance to make each day full.
            Then he said some really lovely things that I just loved. Then he had to kind of ruin it well kind of ruin it.
As for guidelines, yes, we did not discuss and that is my fault…so, here are some guidelines I want you to follow and accomplish while I am gone.
            He had some great fun things in mind for me to do, to keep me busy with friends and relax. Then he had to go and mess up the whole email with…
  I do expect you to work on your goals more and to keep a daily record to send to me.  Whatever you don’t accomplish will be tallied up into discipline of my choice when I get home.
 He had a list of things I have been working on and some I am supposed to be working on. Then he had made a spreadsheet that I am to enter what I have accomplished for each day and then it automatically totals the numbers I have entered. He also had a list of consequences that would result for each infraction as he likes to call it. One of the requirements on his spreadsheet is filling it out every night and emailing it to him along with a “daily chronicle” on my feelings.  LOL Who says that? He normally doesn’t say that.
I had to group text a few of my friends for support, “Isn’t this ridiculous? Who would do a spreadsheet? Is he ________ kidding? I don’t have time for this. Who says chronicle?”
         The response from my wonderful friends was not what I expected. They seemed to love it, one of them loves spreadsheets, the other wants one. I bet if she had one she really wouldn’t like it at all, and the one who loves spreadsheets or making them anyway, is now going to be receiving one. Seems Lee likes to share his ideas sometimes with other HOH’s, as they also like to share their ideas with him. I think everyone well just the HOH’s should keep their ideas to themselves.
          Well bottom line, I really don’t want to fill this out every day for 14 days. But… I am one lucky lady, he knows how I feel when he is gone, he knows what I struggle with, he knows about my anxious feelings, he knows I need to stay focused and busy. He just knows!

I am so happy he knows me so much better than I thought he did! I am not saying I will do this every single day, things come up, people get busy, life can get in the way. But I really do appreciate the way he took the time to email me a very long letter that was very thoughtful, loving, and encouraging for the most part. I know it took a lil bit of time for him to come up with the spreadsheet, the detailed consequence part I wish he would have just skipped altogether probably would have saved him so much time.
           I really don’t like when things are written down in black & white (don’t care for red much either)!


  1. That really is sweet, all of it. Isn't it nice how they know what we need sometimes, even when we fight it?

    I'd have fought the spreadsheet too, though. lol

  2. Hi my honey. This is your Lee. I am proud of you. Yes, maybe spread sheet is silly to u but it grounded u very quickly and focused your attention. When this is done. You are less likely to be anxious. It accomplished what I wanted. To help u relax and know that I am always near. This does NOT by no means mean that u r not to tell me your accomplishments or chronicle ur activities each day. I want this as it also helps me to be by your side knowing how u r doing. I love my honey!!!

  3. chronicle and journal are very similar I want the details of your day while I am away!

  4. Lee, Sweetie, I do NOT need the definition I know what the word means thank you, we just normally do not use it, actually chronicle is detailed, factual and in the order it occurred, journal my kind of journal is not detailed as I am not a very detailed with certain things and as for the order it occurred LOL, I do know you are very detailed!!!!

  5. Lol I certainly loled at the group texts when you told us about his plan, but I also thought it was really cute! It shows how much he understands, and loves you! Youll get through this time when he is away, and I bet when youre entering all that info into the spreadsheet, youll smile atleast a little bit, thinking about him!

    Oh and he really does need to keep his ideas to himself..enough HOH sharing. ;)

  6. Maybe keeping up with a spreadsheet will make the time go by faster. I like the term "chronicle."

  7. I think the spreadsheet sounds pretty cool, but that's my nerdiness coming out.

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  9. Kenze he said he would be happy to help Colin with one LOL, Owlsub-it has helped but Leah I still dont think its cool. Anonymous-I loved your comment but deleted bc you put your real name, I didn't know if you would want that on here.

    1. Thanks! I wasn't sure since I saw you gave a name other than Honey... but thank you for caring! Bye for now, Skyler

  10. Hi Honey!

    I'm so glad I found your blog. I'm looking forward to catching myself up with your story. Great post. Sounds like your husband knows you very well and is doing a great job of taking care of you (even when it sometimes doesn't feel so


  11. Sadie,
    Thank you, I am discovering that he knows me so much better than I thought he did, I guess all of those years I thought I was fooling him, well... I really wasn't. As for the not feeling so good I am trying my best to negotiate a lil but so far not working but I am still trying! LOL