Friday the 13th, one of my favorite days and even more so today because as some of you know Lee will be home today! It started off wonderful, three of my favorite songs played in a row on the radio on my way to work. It was a start of a great day! Around lunch time I looked at Lee’s arrival time and he was actually due to land earlier than I had thought! Yay! I decided to track his flight, it said he had landed! I was so excited, he was going to be home much sooner than I would be from work. Well… that was not correct it seems in Japan his flight was delayed 2 hours and he ended up changing planes, he actually landed 3 hours later than I thought. I was a little well a lot mad about this. Then I got the text, “I am exiting the plane”. I was so happy he was on his way, but so frustrated that I couldn’t talk with him much, I had a commitment I had to keep.
After a few drinks with my girlfriends I start to get a lil feisty texting Lee, I don’t know why I do that but just seems fun at the time. He came to pick me up and on the ride home he reminded me (I didn’t need reminding) that we had a package to open together. We went upstairs, he had placed the package on the bed and then we opened it. SURPRISE! A “rose” paddle!!! I gently ever so gently tossed it across the room. Now I have to admit I have been looking at these “implements” I have heard about and been very curious.
As the night went on Lee reminded me of a few, just a few transgressions that I committed while he was away for 3 weeks. You know 3 weeks is a very long time to go without someone here to maybe help you stay on the correct path, I tend to veer off occasionally. My path is sometimes much more fun than Lee’s path. His can be somewhat just straight ahead nothing to stop and look at along the way, his path seems to get us exactly where we need to be. But sometimes I want to take my path my old worn out path, with lots of curves, sharp turns, and maybe a DANGER do not enter sign in the middle of the path. I know this path usually never resulted in positive results, I would get lost quite a bit on my path, but honestly I have no sense of direction. I just cant help it but sometimes I
automatically get back on that path, mostly out of old habit.
Well it was time as Lee likes to say, “time to pay the piper”. Ok, I am good with this I know I didn’t quite stay on the correct path we agreed on so here we go. It begins, I am trying very hard to be still, I am not very good at that as of yet, and then out of nowhere the “rose” paddle appears across my bottom!! OUCH! WHOA! You didn’t even tell me!!!!! OH! OW! I know he didn’t use it nearly as long as he does his hand, he says it was only about 12-15 times! I beg to differ. After he is finished, he grabs me up and holds me for a very long time. How in the world do I feel so close and loved by this man that just sp***** me with this terrible leather paddle? I have no idea, But all I know is that I really have never felt closer to him once again. The rest of the night and into the next morning was a reunion that was better than any in the movies.
Since we started this lifestyle, I have spoken with many different tih’s and several have told me leather is great, I “love” leather, etc. Some use it for both play & punishment. I have been very curious about this. I even thought about ordering one for a gift for Lee, then I would think, NOPE don’t do it. I want him to make those choices, not me. I have tried very hard not to push him or tell him I am curious about a paddle or leather, etc. I just let him find his way in his time. I am so glad I have. I can honestly say I do not like leather or paddles or the “rose”. Now maybe because this was a first I might could grow to “love” it, I seriously doubt that.
It was nothing at all what I thought it would be, it is not soft, even if one side is smooth, it is just not what I consider soft. It is not flexible to me, I thought it would be more bendable, thinner, and softer. I think it feels like what wood would feel like, very hard and not giving at all. I know I have never “felt’ wood and from what I hear I don’t want to.
It is so strange to me how I can have one thought in my mind but in reality it is so very different than what I imagined. I did think this lifestyle might help our marriage. I figured well we can at least try, we really were at a point we had nothing to lose. I never imagined it would transform our relationship beyond my expectations. I know he has always loved & respected me. I have always loved him. I have never in the 24 years I have been with this man ever loved him or respected him more than I do today. I don’t know if I have ever been more attracted to him (and he is old now) lol! I need him, I need his leadership, I need (some) rules. I know by me needing him in the ways that I do, it makes him feel complete. So this also is much more than I imagined, funny how that happens.