I am so happy my Lee will be home in just a few days. It has been a very long three weeks for me. I have missed him so very much and just can’t wait to see him… or can I??
I was so good the first week and a half while he was gone, I did really well with almost everything. Then something changed… I was just on my own for so long kinda started reminding me of how we used to live. The only difference was I missed him so terribly bad. I got just a lil bit grouchy, a lil bit mouthy, and kinda felt well he is not here so honey can do whatever she chooses. In Honey’s World I can stay up as late as I choose, smoke as much as I want, drink cokes all day long, eat paydays for dinner or eat no dinner, stay on chat for hours, and say whatever I want with no one around to tell me otherwise. It has been fun in honey’s world but it can also be a very lonely place.
When I start feeling that loneliness, I start lashing out a lil bit just a lil bit. I might sent a text around 1 am than says I am BORED, he might respond with turn off electronics and light and go to sleep, I love you. I might send those cute lil pics of smileys that says something like this
I might send an email that is just basically saying I need you here with me. Well not exactly in those words, but when I said “I am not emailing you anymore, I will see you when you get home”. I really meant “I can’t wait to hear your voice, I am so excited you will be home soon”.
Lee sometimes misunderstand my emails and texts, he takes them way out of context. He then calls well actually facetimes me (I only declined it once), and is not very happy. He seems to have changed a lil during this trip, he is not smiling and I am doing everything in my power to get him to smile or laugh. It is not working, it always worked before.
He wants me looking at the phone at him, he then tells me things will be so much different when he returns. Ummm I kinda liked them they way they were. He says “You are in so much trouble, you will never send me an email like that again, you will go by the new rules I have laid out for you, and we will be starting maintenance, reminder sp*******”. Gosh, I am not sure what he called it. He then had the nerve to say “Honey’s World” will be changing very quickly. I kind of like “Honey’s World” the way it is. I am now having a bedtime during the week, o boy how will that work, I have certain things I have to do for my health now, weekly sit downs, less computer time, live within a budget, and there is more. He then tells me, “A package will be arriving from Leatherthorne do NOT open it, we will open it together”. We do NOT use implements, never have. We are still kinda, sorta, maybe somewhat “new”. I let him know I will be looking for it, and I certainly hope it doesn’t get lost in the mail, hehehe. He lets me know it has a tracking number, well then I hope it doesn’t get stolen off of our doorstep. You never know, people these days can do the craziest things.
Seems “Honey’s World” might be changing and I might have a difficult time with these changes. But one thing is for certain I will be so happy for Lee to be returning back to “Honey’s World” whatever it may be.